Not Coping

[StanD]

Hello @Former-Member I feel honoured by your reply.

@TAB has been a great friend to me. He is consistent. This has helped me so much. He has accepted me. Along with so many others. @StuF is there for me. I feel like I would have to list every members name almost💕 probably, definately!

You have given me a lovely reply.

I am now making connection between thoughts & body.

It is odd to me that I didn't see this earlier. I knew it, though, I hadn't specifically seen it.

You mentioned you slowed down at work. I wonder if it was a trigger that happened? 

Painful thoughts physically affect our energy levels. (I am describing it very rudimentary)

Pleasant thoughts, can make walking feel like I am floating.

I have been unable to get off couch.

Today, I am feeling more energy.

My thoughts feel 'convinced'.

I honestly only observed this connection now -& thought of you.

I was using an app called animi 

I'm not sure how popular it is, tho I hope they never take it away because it is probably the most useful app on my phone. I have only started using the daily reminder function.

Thankyou for sharing with me. I don't reply straight away always, although I keep the connection in my mind. 

I love being on SANE. It can be so time consuming for me. It is not easy to express myself.

I think you have tagged me in another post. I have not had a chance to read it yet.

Please continue to stay in touch.

StanD 🦋

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, no it’s okay. I was born in Brisbane

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, I hope you are doing okay. Regarding hugging, @tyme is right that it isn’t standard practice. I’m not sure how many therapist would regularly hug their clients. Everyone has their own personal comfort too. I’ve had urges to hug therapists before, but I haven’t personally done it before. I think I would have on one occasion if I was doing a in person appointment (this was a Telehealth appointment) with a female psych. My psych indicated she would’ve. I was feeling very vulnerable and raw at the time, I grew up not having anyone to comfort me when I was overwhelmed, discussing trauma is hard. I wouldn’t hug her regularly

[Birdofparadise8]

He said no @creative_writer @Bow @tyme 

I didn't day it would make me feel rejected he just mentioned how it is a power imbalance 

[Birdofparadise8]

Nice @creative_writer 

Did your parents migrate of something?

[Birdofparadise8]

He also moved our sessions to fortnightly @tyme @creative_writer @Bow 

We didn't really work on anything I mostly just told him things that had happened. 

I did the colouring in. 

Maybe I should have told him I felt rejected. 

I just asked what his opinion is on hugging a client and he mentioned something about his supervisor and he said he doesn't. He asked why and I said because I don't get any. We didn't really talk about it after he said no. I didn't want to get upset. 

I have a meeting for a volunteer thing I'm doing to help older people in the community. 

Then I'll go home and cry most likely. 

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, I’m sorry you feel rejected, but boundaries are there for a reason to protect you. Therapists need to be cautious about their relationships with clients. Not all therapists feel comfortable with hugging clients, especially clients of the opposite sex.

Yeah my parents migrated but had all of us here in Australia

[Birdofparadise8]

I know it's just hard when I crave it so much. 

I have a vision that someone would give me a hug and I can cry and they will comfort me. I've never had that @creative_writer 

[StanD]

Hello @ENKELI 

Thankyou so much for such a brave & compassionate reply. Thankyou for saying you loved my poem. Looking back, I have hated it the last few days. I had so much shame for posting it. Today, I had resigned myself to 'we live, make mistakes, we learn better for next time.'

Now - my perspective has changed again, thanks to you! I think, you could read between the lines & understand the intent. 

I think I could write a much better poem. 

I think the intent was perfect - it was about not feeling like I was small & needed to please anyone. That people would accept me as I am. Without a mask. It takes so much of my energy to be what I think others want. I have terrible believing that anyone could accept me for me ... That I didn't have to TRY !!???

I absolutely love your reply. I love that you have given me knowledge of your name. I agree, it is a beautiful word. Atypical.

ENKELI

It sounds so pretty. 

You write beautifully. I love your awareness & explanation of the fragility human experience.

I was also picturing those mosaic pots as I was reading.

  

I think it is mature & wise to have awareness & acknowledge that more often than not we are left alone. This is so difficult to accept.

I have lots of anger regarding feelings, actual real life , incomprehensible, neglect. I think it has made me hyper - caring (at the expense of myself) - so many contributing factors, as to why, I put others first.

That feeling of wanting to protect - I don't want anyone to go thru what I have. 

I need to learn how to direct this overpowering intent with greater efficacy.

I am happy to read you are enjoying forums.

Thankyou for beautiful reply

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, I wonder if craving a hug from your therapist is an indicator you feel safe with him. Do you have any other safe people in your life you can ask for a hug from?