So I have been giving your post from yesterday some time and thought about if there was any other way around your current health issues. I don’t like the thought of you having to go into debt for your health but I understand the urgency. I was doing a google search of some ideas I had but then something really simple occurred to me that might help. You could actually present yourself to the emergency department with the pain you have, take the results of any blood tests, scans, etc with you, and you could possibly be referred to a gastroenterology team from the emergency department. There is a risk they might want to admit you for further investigation and monitoring, but you always have the right to leave. They may even consider an MRI. I know you will probably disagree with me on this option, but I think it is a very sensible one. And it is likely that that they might see the urgency of your situation and consider you an urgent referral.
The other option you might have is transferring to another heath insurance company that offers a shorter waiting period. But then again, that might not work as you have a pre-existing health problem.
I know you’re scared to tell your mother, but again you are keeping everything to yourself and trying to soldier on. And it’s you that suffers the most. And I hardly think this currently problem is nothing. The reality is that is a large mass that shouldn’t be ignored. With very unpleassant and uncomcomfortable symptoms. Which are impacting on your mental health.The likelihood it is benign and once dealt with should reduce many of your symptoms.
And I am inclined to agree with your gp and pdoc about medications. I know how you feel about them, but you are barely coping right now, and even if it’s for a little while, it might help. I am not going to suggest you see a psychologist, because I know how triggering that is for you. So maybe the medications will just help calm things a little. It’s hard for me to see you struggle so much on a continued basis. My heart absolutely breaks at what you have to put up with on so many levels. No one needs the constant bombardment that you get. I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if you are burnt out.
I know I have asked this before, so forgive me if my memory is a little rusty, but your mother works. So why is she, or even your pop, not contributing to his care costs? Why are you putting your hand constantly in your pocket for his needs? Perhaps I am missing some context here, and I am misunderstanding something that hasn’t been said.
And yes, I understand you are anxious about Tuesday's aged care appointment, but I am pleased it is happening. You definitely need that support. And you needed it many months ago. Your pop might be angry and upset with you about it, but you both need the support. Even if he disagrees. remember, his brain is not working like it used to. And he is likely to be frightened, upset and in denial about what is happening with him. These things are contributing to his behaviour. I am concerned the way he is going, his behaviour and temper could turn very serious and lead to you being hurt.
I hear you say you are short on words tonight, and you have some other things happening as well. No need to answer this right now. Perhaps think it over a while, reread it and answer later when you aren’t so frazzled.
Hugs and hugs sweetheart. I want to come and take you away from everything too, and take good care of you like you deserve.
@outlander
Keep putting one foot in front of the other then Hon - this will change for you one day 
