Living with Ourselves

[Anastasia]

You're a sweetheart @Clawde , thank you, how are you doing, are you ok?

[Sophia1]

Hello @Clawde @Anastasia @Zoe7 @Former-Member @Bow @Emelia8 @HenryX @Adge @Jacques @Appleblossom @TAB @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @cloudcore 

Thank you so much for your kind words and support..

Those of you who have known me for some time now realise I am not good at opening up about myself let alone asking for support..

I have always been the one to give..

Very good at telling others to give to themselves and take self care.

Not good at practising what I preach as my dad used to say...bless him...wish he was still with me in this world..he is in my heart..

my anxiety levels are still high..

had lovely day yesterday with younger son and husband working on his front garden...hard work...roterating soil ..raking ...picking up stones..rocks...concrete offcuts left by builders...

3 hours hard work...looks such an improvement already..

we are going to help him landscape the front first..

he loves doing it as well...learning but working on his home...he is very proud of his new home and loves his independence and home that he is continuing to design himself.

Was good..

I have a worsened situation with my hearing...2nd audiology hearing test and report done by another audiologist shows far different results and not good.

hearing loss in right ear moderate..in left ear severe...

had random earaches now pain is almost constant and stronger..

have ent specialist appointment in mid november...audiologist picked up some issues with eardrum as well as cochlear...

hearing loss and pain is aggravating and provoking anxiety further..

so am overwrought and fed up with having to stress that I cannot hear..

stand in front of me and speak to me face to face..

am going to lay down and rest soon..

@Clawde that is one of the loveliest expressions that I have heard in offering support..

"spreading fairydust".

Appeals to my innerchild with whom my relationship grows stronger daily..

Love to you all 

please keep on being yourselves and when and if I upset you I apologise in advance..

please let me know but please do not tell me off or say that I am being difficult..

thank you xx

[TAB]

Sorry about your hearing @Sophia1  part of growing older I guess ears, eyes I know the feeling argh lol  you dont have to apoligise .. and thanks for the tag

[Shaz51]

hugs my @Sophia1 

sending you understanding hugs my friend 

[Anastasia]

@Sophia1 

Sending you some 💛 and 🌄

I am sorry about your hearing loss. I too have no hearing in my right ear and it causes much heartache.

It's now a daily struggle and I understand totally about the face to face talking and the frustration. Masks and Perspex have just added a whole world of pain not being able to lip read.

I know you are a twin, perhaps I'm a soul twin Sophia? 😃

I would never "tell you off". You are just perfect to me sweet Sophia.

Never change, you are very special just the way you are ✔️❣️

[Shaz51]

@Anastasia, @Sophia1 

I am totally deaf in my left ear and nearly totally deaf in the right ear which i am wearing a hearing aid but i dont hear anyone talking on my left side and it does makes it hard so triplets we are 

[Anastasia]

👩👩👩

Oh @Shaz51 @Sophia1 not fair

Hugs and hugs 💛☕☕💛

[Zoe7]

@Sophia1 @Clawde and all others visiting here 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Anastasia @Shaz51 

Thank you for sharing about your hearing loss..

I feel for both of you..

I am experiencing the many ways daily life is affected by this..

It is a huge learning curve..

quite frightening..

Soul triplets....I like that...

You have both helped me in waking up to the fact that I am one of zillions..

would you mind discussing further how you have dealt with your anxiety...

adapted when in company of people who do not know..

how long it took you to find the hearing aid that you now have..

so much more..

I don't know whether you have your own mental health issues that you have had to deal with before becoming a carer..

If you would not mind talking about some of that and the strategies that you have used to get through..

this is a huge ask..

I want to say that do not feel obliged at all 

you must only talk about what you feel comfortable with..

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Dear @Former-Member 

I wrote an epic composition in reply  to your response to me..

all about my life with my family who do not want to be a part of my life anymore..

rejection..pain ...etc..

Thank you for connecting with my feelings and the pain I carry around my family loss

I am so sorry to hear that you have endured loss as well...

Life is so very challenging isn't it..