Living with Ourselves

[Former-Member]

And I don't always get notifications @Sophia1 

[Adge]

Hi @Sophia1 Thanks for thinking of me.

You said: "I am sorry that it has taken nearly a week to respond.

I have been unwell and had draining experiences with medical appointments...something that I know you are only too familiar with.."

I am very sorry that you've had to deal with that.

Yes I am far too familiar with that (similar) myself.

I have not been able to respond to emails, phone calls, post on forums - Or virtually anything, for some days or several weeks in fact (right now currently).

So yes I do feel similar.

Overwhelm + physical & mental exhaustion - Caused by continuing pressures that never seemed to stop.

Over 20 hours of Compulsory Online Safety & Work Site Induction Training Modules (so far) - 24 hours (3 full days) of Full-Time Traffic Management Course & Assessments.

Failing the Practical (3rd day) Assessment (8 hours)  - with good grounds for official Descrimination Complaint (Discrimination against 2 Students with Disability)(1 plus myself) - Has only increased the pressure.

The Prac Assessment (full 8 hour day) had been Re-Booked (after failing) for tomorrow, Wednesday 20th October (one week after I failed).

Having reached a state of physical exhaustion & continued overwhelm - & being faced with having to drive 40Km at 7.00am to an unknown Training Location (not 7Km away from home where I failed)

This Prac Assess has now been cancelled, just late this afternoon (at my request &/ or agreement).

Prac Assessment has been Re-Booked (now) for next week, Thursday 28th October (still 40Km drive away).

With average Length 12 hour Work Shifts (which used to be Illegal) - It's still unclear as to whether I can function effectively in this Job Role (Traffic Management) for anywhere near the length of a 12 hour (Maximum 16 hours) Work Shift.

Sorry for Length of Post - I'm exhausted, cannot type/ write anymore (to explain).

All the Best,

Hugs (((Sophia))))

Adge

[Adge]

I talk to my Puddytat (Jelly Cat) too @Sophia1 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Former-Member 

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@Former-Member wrote:

I just find it difficult being honest on the forums @Sophia1 

---

Thank you for your support yesterday..

You recognised my vulnerability and asked the question if I had a thread that I preferred to go to..

I refer to this thread as my retreat...or sanctuary...or safe place...

You have a gift to be able to pick that up from someone's words as I was not expressing that I was vulnerable.

You sensed it in my writing.

Thank you again..

Thank you for being you Mumi.

When you say "being honest" my understanding of that is not telling everything that is going on for you..

I see this as a way of protecting your boundaries..

Saying as much as you need to making sure that you still feel safe...

I am exactly the same on most occasions.

There are a few people with whom I feel safer interracting with at a deeper..more open level..

These people I believe are more inclined to have a "sensitive nature"...some also feel things at a deeper level...

No way is the right or wrong way..

It is what is right for ourselves...self protection...

Do you have a safe place thread or one where you visit more often where you  feel that you can be more open?

I am sure that we have chatted in the past.

Keep on being you, Mumi

💛 I like to share sunshine...it is good for our brain...our mind....our health...

also a way of a long term tradition in many cultures where gifts are exchanged. A sign of thank you for an invitation.

This is my gift to my friends on the forum.

This is my gift to thank you for the invitation you sent me yesterday.

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Dear @Adge 

It saddens me to read that you are having to endure such terrible treatment to gain employment ...as you stated...of any kind..

So many people are not looking for  work...

You try so hard to find employment and are expected to undertake such gruelling online courses that to my way of thinking deter people from applying..

Then to find out that you have an offer for a position which would suit your expertise and health situation..only to be told that you  cannot accept such offer as you have to complete outrageous online training and workshops for inhuman time frames of traffic control....

Do you have a social worker, counsellor, therapist, any kind of therapist support?

I ask this only to  suggest that they are the very person to support you to notify in writing this organisation that is putting you through such an ordeal...

Your rights are being taken away from you.

Your health conditions are not being taken into consideration at all...

Yes working that length of time without breaks or access to public toilets is not acceptable under occcupational health and safety..

Have you heard of the government "disability advocate" , mental health comes under this umbrella...you also have physical health issues that

must be taken into consideration

I feel for you as what stands out to me is that

You are not being heard...you are being dismissed

I pick this up because this is my predicament and one I stand up assertively for now after many years of treading on eggshells around other people to put their needs and feelings first..

I have used the government disability advocate within my work employment and they were incredibly helpful and settled  some issues where bullying and harassment were occurring..

There is a thread floating  around somewhere about this only recently and someone used the Office of the Chief Psychiatrist....

Other organisations are mentioned on this thread..

Are there any community guides about who can direct Adge and myself to the thread that I am referring to?

Or Peer support workers?

I want to let you know that I am listening to you and hearing you Adge...

I will keep on listening to you as long as I am on the forums at the same time taking into account the actual times that I log in and that you log in.

So for now, I will wait with you virtually, for a response for our asking for help on here first.

Sophia 💜I offer you a purple heart for compassion and empathy today...

@Adge You do matter...very much...Many people on here do care for you...I know that it might not feel that way at the moment.

I also know that I have those feelings at times also even though I might not express that.

Hello to jellycat your puddytat

Big hugs my friend...

Sophia

[Sophia1]

Dear @Former-Member 

I have just read your posts on the hangar thread  after I had logged off late yesterday afternoon.

I am so sorry that I was not able to be there and offer you the support that you gave me..

Perhaps this was what you wanted to talk about and changed your mind..

Please know that everything that you said was from your heart and I felt the pain and loss, grief that you were feeling..

I have lost pets and feel deeply like you do...they are our family..

For me they remain my family forever..

I carry them in a special place in my heart where they are safe..

They will stay with me forever and be with me always..

When I think of them and feel sorrow....distress....pain....grief....I cry to release those feelings and I put my hand on my heart and feel that I am stroking them as I did when they were on this earth.

For me they are still with me in a different way...

different for each of us..

Yesterday, would you believe, I felt very distressed and vulnerable  as you picked up.

I had a dreadful  experience at the optometrists with different staff who were defensive, inconsistent,,incorrect and rude...

I left there with a chaotic state of mind  and landed in Neds.

This is a cheap shop where I find myself ending up when I have  to visit the dreadful shopping centre.

I loathe shopping centres...

In Neds there was much to look at.

Then  I heard a voice call out we are closing at 5.30pm..

I asked the time and was told 5.28pm.

My eyes then fell on a statue which brought me some comfort...I felt held..

I bought the statue.

I am going to share a picture of this with you.

A gift from me to you to help you in your present moment of loss..

I have lost several pets over the years.

I have a special burial ground in my back garden corner under a tree for 3 of my pets who have passed and gone over the rainbow bridge.

I am in the process of tidying the garden...adding some plants..

Now I will add this ornament...

I hope that this will bring you some comfort and some temporary relief until you find your own way of dealing with your grief.

[Adge]

Thanks @Sophia1 All the Best to you.

I'm working on it, doing the best I can.

Very hard when in overwhelm - Trying to attempt to deal with or change one little bit at a time.

Baby Steps...

Adge

[Former-Member]

Thankyou so much for your kind words @Sophia1 

You are a very kind, caring, understanding person. 
I will message properly some time soon. Not having a great day, but I'll be ok. 💖🌺🌼🌸

[Anastasia]

---

@Sophia1 wrote:

Dear @Adge 

It saddens me to read that you are having to endure such terrible treatment to gain employment ...as you stated...of any kind..

So many people are not looking for  work...

You try so hard to find employment and are expected to undertake such gruelling online courses that to my way of thinking deter people from applying..

Then to find out that you have an offer for a position which would suit your expertise and health situation..only to be told that you  cannot accept such offer as you have to complete outrageous online training and workshops for inhuman time frames of traffic control....

Do you have a social worker, counsellor, therapist, any kind of therapist support?

I ask this only to  suggest that they are the very person to support you to notify in writing this organisation that is putting you through such an ordeal...

Your rights are being taken away from you.

Your health conditions are not being taken into consideration at all...

Yes working that length of time without breaks or access to public toilets is not acceptable under occcupational health and safety..

Have you heard of the government "disability advocate" , mental health comes under this umbrella...you also have physical health issues that

must be taken into consideration

I feel for you as what stands out to me is that

You are not being heard...you are being dismissed

I pick this up because this is my predicament and one I stand up assertively for now after many years of treading on eggshells around other people to put their needs and feelings first..

I have used the government disability advocate within my work employment and they were incredibly helpful and settled  some issues where bullying and harassment were occurring..

There is a thread floating  around somewhere about this only recently and someone used the Office of the Chief Psychiatrist....

Other organisations are mentioned on this thread..

Are there any community guides about who can direct Adge and myself to the thread that I am referring to?

Or Peer support workers?

I want to let you know that I am listening to you and hearing you Adge...

I will keep on listening to you as long as I am on the forums at the same time taking into account the actual times that I log in and that you log in.

So for now, I will wait with you virtually, for a response for our asking for help on here first.

Sophia 💜I offer you a purple heart for compassion and empathy today...

@Adge You do matter...very much...Many people on here do care for you...I know that it might not feel that way at the moment.

I also know that I have those feelings at times also even though I might not express that.

Hello to jellycat your puddytat

Big hugs my friend...

Sophia

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@cloudcore  can you assist please lovely? 🙏

Hugs @Adge @Sophia1 💚💛

[Adge]

Hi @Sophia1 Yes I do see a private practice Clinical Psychologist.

The Short Answer - Is that my Psychology Appointment Had to Be Cancelled to Accommodate the Traffic Management Course (Course Wiped Out my Appointment) - So I could not receive Psych Support, during that time.

Psych has now (last night) Sent a Letter via email - To my Jobsearch Provider/Disability Employment Service Provider - Outlining some of the impacts (including weight loss) that the pressure placed on me (by DES Provider) has had, & Questioning the Suitability of a Traffic Management Role/ Job for me, plus whether I can function effectively for the 12 hour Work Shifts.

Honestly not many people without any disability or illness probably could.

My Psych's Letter may (or may not) have any effect, may or may not make any difference - As the DES Jobsearch Provider considers themselves Only Anwerable to Centrelink & Federal Department of Employment (Jobactive) Regulation - That is what they told me.

Not to any Psychologist or Doctor.

I see a Private Practice Clinical Psychologist because otherwise Government Agencies & Publicly Funded Counselling & Psychology practices turf you out & terminate services - after 5 to 10 Appointments (on average).

Here that is exactly what they do - I have experienced this personally, & am well-aware of their Short-Term service Policies.

So seeing a Private Practice Clinical Psych means that I can receive On-Going Support.

Without Fear that the service will be Suddenly Terminated on me - As long as I pay $ for it myself, which I do of course.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Complex PTSD) is in the "Very Long-Term Therapy" Category (Need) - Publicly Funded Counselling & Support Agencies (& Not For Profits NGO's) do not Cater for this (at all).

Sorry for the Long-Winded, Convoluted explanation - This is a BugBear of mine (Old Term).

Adge