Lived Experience Forum

[maddison]

                   nUcLeUs

With what do I

When All that is

Truth and time 

Are sure to become lie 

Could I have been

That who you could need 

When it's me whom 

You believe to be 

Against your grain 

I know that you are not 

                           completely f★cking insane 

Psychological Warfare 

Creates Chronic Fatigue 

Expectation causes 

stress to a growing seed 

Since I can remember 

I only ever wanted to

breath 

To live and be recognised 

as a nucleus with needs 

[maddison]

Thankyou so much @TuxedoCat it's lovely to read your feedback.

That is a great question too. In some ways I guess it's like looking back on a distant,  stranger. I can see & vaguely remember the pain I was going through. I love how much I've grown. 

In another way, it's like I wrote these only yesterday! And I feel closer to that distant stranger than I ever have.

(It's also embarrassing/shameful to look back on, & then share on here! Maybe, like seeing old photos of yourself, that you wish you could hide. I don't know, some parts impressed me, like I had assumed my past self was all messed up & confused, but I can see I had some great insight at twenty something, even if I was extremely confused. I guess I have maybe been enlightened, that my past self deserves more credit than I have been giving them!)

[maddison]

Thankyou for your comments & question @TuxedoCat this is really cool for me xx

 I like that you said it resonated with you. It's good, occasionally to remember who we are, where we came from. Is this what you meant?

I have blocked most of past out. I don't need to relive pain. Possibly, consequently my brain is extremely "now" focused. I have trouble thinking about yesterday, or 5 mins ago. I rarely think of my past.

I think this might have been good for me, to find these today.

Thankyou xx

[TuxedoCat]

It sounds like it's been a really positive experience to find the poetry and reconnect with parts of it @maddison ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing how you've been feeling about it too

[Former-Member]

(When I'm blue about poverty holding me back and peoples narrow opinions on poor people I re-read this)

In Hungry Desperation 

A plight of despair I'm in feeling like I never win,

though gamble, I do not,

I do seem to lose a lot!

Hunger dose burn a deep hole,

'the way of life' so I'm told, but surrender to such a fate, I cannot! 

My determination is all I've got.

EjR 2015

[justanotherguy]

Being a peasant,

Used to be pleasant,

Because nobody cared about you.

Now they all stare,

And suddenly care,

Because now you know more than they do.