Lived Experience Forum

[TideisTurning]

@solus welcome to the Forums and the poetry thread. I'm TideisTurning, one of the Peer Support Workers here. I firstly want to acknowledge the powerful and incredibly well written piece you wrote which others may have seen and let you know I'm going to send you an email to check in around it. 

For anyone who may have seen Solus' writing and have had difficult feelings arise as a result, I want to encourage you to reach out for extra support if needed. There is Lifeline (13 11 14) or SANE's Helpcentre is also available 10am-10pm Monday-Friday if you'd like to speak to someone non-urgently.

[maddison]

Hello All,

Upon searching my wardrobe, I found some old scratchings. These are quite rough around the edges. I wrote them around 20 (million?!) years ago. I guess, I didn't want them to continue to hide away. They are not great! - I think parts deserve some light.

TYRES

These tyres need a retread.

'Cause lately, I can't get a break.

It's a joke, I can't get.

It's when something won't fit.

Each breath takes me further away from here....yet...

Each breath makes me more...

here

[maddison]

What I say to you 

As part of my disease 

Is that it's hard to know 

     what you feel 

When everybody is living a lie 

A truth too painful to see.

Not in others 

Just in me 

The hardest truth is 

that if I'm totally 

honest 

I already know the answer 

A kind of futile non-existence 

Where nothing is ever secure 

A kind of blind faith 

A kind of blind eye 

I can only assume 

that somehow I'm failing

To See 

A kind of security 

That I must find - within me 

Stop now. Be Bright and Clear 

I fail there too

[TuxedoCat]

awww at @maddison, this is so beautiful. I hope you can keep sharing these discoveries with us ❤️ 

This really resonates with me. I'm wondering what it's like to read through poems from 20 years ago? 

[maddison]

            PERCEIVE

Perhaps the bright side 

Is that there are so many 

     of us 

Flailing about 

Distractions keenly available 

I often get lost

So much more 

Lately, it seems 

I am mostly dumbfounded 

through what I can make 

of this world. 

In a moment 

Of a glimpse of real 

Overcome 

Waterfalls feel 

I hate me 

I call you pathetic 

Reflections I fail to see 

to often 

Too much disease 

I've already jumped 

And now I'm simply watching 

                                    me 

But we are all blind to "reality" 

As far as I can perceive

[maddison]

               PRINCESS 

And although I believe I am 

  a princess 

And that they should bow 

  to me 

Inadvertantly, she takes prisoners 

Cannot conceive

[maddison]

              Metaphor 

a coincidence can teach us suchly 

That things are connected 

   more than muchly 

Like feeling cold in winter 

Or removing an old splinter 

Causing chaos

Another knock at the door 

When all words,

All action 

All of it

could just be 

A metaphor

[maddison]

Bless Us as you rest

each eve 

Forgive Us for the the so much 

that we need 

Bring us closer 

More again 

Be my hero 

Be my friend

[maddison]

Not You

Beneath these three 

Another time 

Beneath these three 

Stars that shine 

I ask that you may 

Love me true 

Be kind and appropriate 

As though you were me 

       and not you 

Hold me closer 

Than before 

Keep my hand held 

Tight within yours

[maddison]

stranger

I'm not as scared today 

Someone told me 

As I passed them by. 

Through you is another 

Beyond that 

We Shine 

Yesterday, I felt older somehow.

Like a maturing red wine made worthy through the years.

Getting closer to the starting line 

Wasting away before my 

time 

But now I'm not as scared 

As long as I can win 

I'll wait to hear the gunshot 

And then I can begin