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โ23-08-2019 12:35 PM
โ23-08-2019 12:35 PM
Hello! This is totally new for me.
I donโt usually talk about this stuffโ everโ with anyone. So itโs a massive thing for me to do this, but here we go!
I have never really addressed the traumatic things, and abuse thatโs happened to me. Iโve always suppressed itโ not worried about it too much.
That was until last night. Last night I was watching some YouTube. The video did have trigger warning but I dismissed it. Usually I donโt get triggered but abuse was brought up and it triggered meโ I started crying, and needed to listen to music to ground myself again.
Thatโs never happened to me before.
But Iโve started to think on the other things that have happened that might be connectedโ and I just didnโt realise.
Sometimes, but not often, I get auditory hallucinations, too, but itโs never anything bad. But most of the time I feel it coming, my body sort of feels tingly, and sometimes my body movements that should be natural feel foreign, and my thoughts get super loud and everything feels noisy and busy and fast. Sometimes I can block it out and continue what Iโm doing, other times I have to stop.
It doesnโt bother me too much when it happens, it hasnโt happened in awhile.
However, something else happened a few months back that I havenโt experienced before. I was laying in bed, and I started to feel weightless, like my body slipped away. Like my consciousness was just floating? But I was still fully aware. It wasnโt a dream.
I saw a flash image of in my mind of two people. A woman with long dark hair was sitting down hugging her knees next to her was a man with blonde hair.
He said, โHey! Are you hungry?โ
I heard him in my mind clear as day. He had an American accent which I remember thinking was kinda cool.
And I said, โYeah! A little bit...โ
And then I realised I was having a conversation with someone in my head and pulled myself out of that headspace and started freaking out. I could hear the woman speaking too, but she was so quiet that I couldnโt make out what she was saying.
It felt real, and for some reason I think I know his name? I feel like his name is Matt for whatever reason. It hasnโt happened sinceโ and I havenโt heard him since then. But never in my life have I seen those people before.
But its these weird things that happen that make you feel a little bit crazy at times, hence why I donโt speak about it.
I donโt really know where I was going with this, lol, but it feels good to get it out at least!
I havenโt sought out any professional help because Iโm not entirely sure that I need to?
Maybe itโs all connected but maybe not.
Anyways. Whoever stuck around and read my wall of textโ thank you! Has anyone else experienced something similar? If so, please share your story with me!
Itโs all so hard to explain properly, but hopefully someone gets it.
Thanks for reading guys! โค๏ธ
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โ23-08-2019 07:45 PM
โ23-08-2019 07:45 PM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
Firstly - welcome to the forum @gensys
It is very brave of you to post here about something so personal for your first post
Whilst I cannot relate to what you have experienced I can see that it has had a big effect on you. You say you have not sought professional support because you feel you do not need to but it might be something to consider to talk through what you have experienced.
We all react to trauma and unusual experiences in different ways and having someone to talk that out with can often help us unravel where it has come from and find ways to deal with it if it happens again.
That is of course entirely your decision and whatever you decide we are here with you. It is a very caring and compassionate community and we welcome you as part of that now also.
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โ23-08-2019 08:51 PM
โ23-08-2019 08:51 PM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
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โ24-08-2019 09:43 AM
โ24-08-2019 09:43 AM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
Hi @gensys and welcome to the forums. I agree, it's brave sharing your story when you first get started here. I can imagine how bewildering what you've experienced could be, tho I don't have any explanations for you. I like @Serenity1 's suggestions tho'. @Serenity1 I don't think we've met before either. I know there are others here who have auditory stuff sometimes so I'm sure you will find support. @greenpea can you suggest anyone? (hope it's ok to tag you here).
I've been through multiple traumatic events myself and think it could also relate to unlocking memories due to the trigger experience you had recently. This happens to me sometimes. We can dissociate during the event, to survive it, but I believe the details are still in our memory somewhere. I've also experienced what I'd call awake dreams that seem very real. Just a couple of ideas.
Here on the forums we can only speak from our own experiences, so this is my two bob's worth.
Hope you enjoy being here. I'll tag you both on a social thread that happens on Saturdays where you can meet more people if you'd like to join in.
Have a good day.
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โ24-08-2019 01:10 PM
โ24-08-2019 01:10 PM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
@gensys Hi gensys and welcome to the forum :). Thanks @eth for tagging me. I was thinking earlier on to say something but so many people contributed I decided not to lol but since I have experienced almost idental occurances with gensys I suppose it couldn't hurt. I have schizoaffective disorder brought on by trauma and one of my voices I have or did before I was medicated have conversations with. He would for example tell me to dance and I would dance for hours on end until my daughter told me to go to bed.
He is my bf and I firmly believe that once I have passed on I will meet up with him again however bizarre that may sound. I have also heard many voices screaming at me in the past from time to time . I would be making an appointment with your trusted gp and be honest with him/ her about your symptoms. Your gp will probably (if they are good) send you onto a psychiatrist. The trick is to be honest with the doctors they can only help you if you are totally straight up with them.
ps: I have had physical sensations where my body was totally taken over by my bf. Where I had no control .... so yeah you are not alone.
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โ24-08-2019 01:15 PM
โ24-08-2019 01:15 PM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
@gensys Something else has sprung to mind when I was really sick I had the same hallucinations where there were 3 men at the end of my bed and they would tell me all kinds of things they wanted me to do with my body. I could hear them give me instructions which I followed ..... this went on for months. I was a very sick girl at times and yet at other times I was fine .... that is schizoaffective disorder. (not saying you have it btw:))
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โ25-08-2019 09:26 AM
โ25-08-2019 09:26 AM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
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โ25-08-2019 09:27 AM
โ25-08-2019 09:27 AM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
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โ26-08-2019 09:35 AM
โ26-08-2019 09:35 AM
Re: Hello! This is totally new for me.
Formerly Jojo7 did you change your name to @Serenity1 ? I'm just confused because my Jojo7 notification link took me to Serenity1 posts.
Good to meet you too. Hope today is peaceful for you.
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โ26-08-2019 11:19 AM
โ26-08-2019 11:19 AM