Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi everyone i honestly don't know where ive gone wrong in my friendships.

So it started out that i moved to a new horse aggistment place and was there for a while and made some friends that had the same interests as me so that was good. One specific friend was the one who helped me abit through a tough patch with my anxiety. Ive recently moved paddocks and now they hardley talk to me. When i send a message it takes them a day or so to get back to me and when they do its very blunt or nothing to run off to continuea conversation. When i ask aome advice as they have had anxiety before and as they are older than me they have a bit more experience than me ao i thought id ask them but they pretty much shut me out and im sure they think im.annoying. recently one of my friends horses got hurt so i offerred to go down to help as they were really worried. But she just said another friend was coming but i was talking to the same friend that was suppose to be coming but she couldn't get there foe another two hours.

They seem to leave me out of conversations too. I thought despite moving paddocks we could still be friends but im.starting to second guess it now 😞 😞

Is there anyone who can give me some advice on what to do or if maybe im over reacting?

[mufasa]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm very sorry to hear that you're feeling confused and shut out by your friends. It doesn't sound like they've been very nice to you.

You're not over reacting, if they're making you feel a particular way then they need to respect that. I'm wondering if you have considered talking to them about their behaviour and how it is affecting you? 

[Former-Member]

I did and they said that they are just busy and we are still friends

[utopia]

@Former-Member. It sounds like your definition of friends may be different to this persons.
Dome people I've found, say friend, when they often mean, acquaintance.
It doesn't sound like she wants to put in as much effort with this friendship as you do.
I'm sorry this has hurt you.
I don't think you have done anything wrong - this person just isn't wanting that sort pf friendship

[Former-Member]

Yeah. I thought we were really close but now everything has faded away and it feels almost non existent now. 😞 😞

[Former-Member]

And i dont know how to fix it either 😞

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I don't know if you can 'fix it' - when you didn't 'break it'.
She says she's just really busy right now. Youccould give her the benefit of the doubt & back away for a week or two. See if she contacts you then.
At the same time, don't forget there will be other people to get to know at the new horse paddock.

[Former-Member]

This has been going on for months now. Ive given them the benefit of the doubt a fair few times now. Ive left not contacting them for almost a month and they didnt msg at all

[utopia]

That's rough @Former-Member. Do you really want someone like that as a friend?

[Former-Member]

Probably not but if i dont have them then i literally have no one. Sad but true 😞