Hi @Appleblossom 

You are right - silences can be devastating - and I do hear you.

You wrote

 I do not even get to tell a quarter of my story before I am frequently tarnished with blame in the matter.  This book helped give me perspective.  

This is true - I have had some of this myself - it's as if we could go back into the past and change something - drat - everything - and there are many things we could change if we could - maybe it's better than we can't. 

Suicide is so permanent. Aw - it is such a hard subject.

My son was an impetuous teenager - who knows what he was really thinking - I know he was intent on whatever he had in mind. My cousin though - was in his forties and had a life of success through a lifetime of ill health - I find it harder to forgive him though - eventually I might

I do listen to stories though - I want to hear what happened - the blame game is so futile - and after all - those of us left behind have a life-time of sorrow that can only be endured - hopefully accepted

My deepest feelings

Dec