@Bow any time darlin! 

Ugh, systemic trauma is the worst. Cos it happens on a personal level it can be hard to see when it's happening hey. I've been following this amazing therapist on instagram (find her here!) and she posts a lot about the changes desperately needed in the mh field. One of them I read recently was all about that sense of like... 'we know best, and if you're not coping it's a personal failure' - completely ignoring that being alive in the modern world is inherently traumatising, and that in fact most of us are just responding rationally to the world around us. 

That was a long-winded way of saying that you have every right to feel the way you do... haha my rambling skills are unmatched!