Thanks for your kind response @NatureLover yeah there were other things that went on when I was a kid, a young kid. But this. I was older. Old enough to know what was happening. Old enough to be able to do something about it. But I didn't. I just froze. It eats me alive. I could have stopped it. Or at least I could have tried. It feels like it was my fault. Like I let it happen. I did let it happen. This is why I want to just clock myself in the head. Weak. Useless. Piece of trash.