@Gibbs   yes important.  there were two.  one is my ex who i am still very friendly with he is a good man and the other was b who i thought you could have been the other day.  i havent seen b for years it was a intense friendship which only ended because i hurt his pride although accidently with my then husband.  if i ever hurt your pride (saggitarians can accidently hurt others because we have foot in mouth (?)) tell me.  I can already tell i value our friendship greatly and i would hate to ruin itxxx