@Abner   you have articulated this so well "In music we're taught if you make a mistake while playing don't say sorry, or go back over it, just keep going, your audience is there to have a lovely time, not a note perfect time. So we get used to making mistakes and not saying sorry.

Unfortunately some people then carry that into life when they hurt others, even deliberately, and most of them aren't musicians or performing artists, they just don't like examining themselves." 

my ptsd has caused me to hurt people.  i cant even verbalise it to myself in my head.  it is like the waves on the beach which come in and then out again.  i remember then when i try to articulate it the waves take the thoughts out again and are forgotten.  tbh i think it is a form of brain damage.