You are awesome @Jynx I ate every delicious word.

Attachment trauma - thankyou. We don't know, if we don't ask. 

I feel so silly, sharing all of this - & then I think, there is another person, definately, - in this world that feels same.

You articulated my life, makes me feel secure. I know I can be seen.

And it makes so much sense this is basic, primitive instinct. It is hardwired program, & unable to discern what my best interest.

It is battle against me.

I am so so tired 

Of fighting 

My body mind & spirit craves order & peace

Lily Allen The Fear Acoustic 

https://youtu.be/hCL669AARu0?si=FgkOm33N6ipfLyIx 

I have this on my Spotify 

Thankyou for guiding me

I cried lots writing this post 

I am simply amazed, that I am cared for. (Huge Cry) - it is good to get shit out, & it takes more strength to be soft, than it does to he hard 

You can be hard entire life, & stay same 

If soft, then it is Matrix & I am Trinity haha 

Thankyou for being friend