I thought I'd known the feeling of being alone, but here I am dying, sick as, but there's no-
one that will come to my home to help or give me support. I'll have to do my own palliative
care {I am already} & I want to stay at home, so I'll have to suffer. I already know I want
VAD. . . what is there for me to want to suffer through the dying process for? My beautiful
puppies, that I basically can't even walk anymore . . . the fear of getting so sick I can't
even get up & feed them? What do people think, I should suffer though it for the loneliness &
the simple sake of suffering - I've had enough suffering before any of this started, now I'm
faced with the knowledge that this suffering will continue getting worse. I've been sick for
6 months already, continuously getting worse & I'm sick of it already! I think it's just
started & I don't feel like I'm getting cared for by the Doctor, a doctor whom it takes a
week, from when I go in to make an appt to where I can actually get one! A Doctor that I've
just found out, does another town - I don't even know what days he's in mine! I think being
rural, not in a town or near any big ones, you have a different end - not so cared for, not
so much about your comfort or what you want, more like you're an inconvenience.