Good Afternoon @Anastasia , @Appleblossom , @Mumi , @Emelia8 , @Clawde , @1stepup61

Thank you all for your greetings and encouragement.

@Anastasia , I am happy that you were able to receive my messages with a sense of warmth and pleasure.

As I was writing the message, that included reference to forgetting medication, the thought was sitting to the side of my mind about using an alarm. I generally use my routine, in the evening, for timing of medication. At various times though, I fall for the trap of “I'll just finish this.....” with the obvious outcome. As your son has done, I have just set an alarm (noisy), so I am less likely to ignore it, or brush it aside.

@Appleblossom , Your reference to

“small but meaningful positive experiences I had with flying and boats lifted my mood a lot when we all started post(ing) here.”

really encapsulates the reason for the existence of the thread. A partial distraction and diversion, that does not preclude our expressions and statements of concern, angst, fears and so many other negative feelings, on this thread. However, it allows for some balance to life and forum interactions, where we can also enjoy and express our enjoyment of the positive feelings, events and a range of other topics, past and present, in our lives.

While I sometimes worry about an overload of external information, eg on: “flying boats”, planes or other topics, that is also the reason that I often add the word count, so that people can choose to look at some, all or none of a specific post, but they can also, still actively participate in the thread.

Talking about your daughter and her life responses and interactions with you and her brother connects closely with my own experiences. It is very much a matter of juggling our feelings with regard to the affects of other “players in the game” whether they be partners, current and past, interaction with each of our children and the influences of other relative outsiders, such as teachers etc.

You have asked that universal question,

“How does one know which things to accept and which not ... for me it has not always been easy to discern.”

We can struggle with that question as if there was an answer to it. That struggle can contribute to great chasms and challenges in our lives. In response, I might ask the question,

“Is it a question for which there is an answer, or to which we even need an answer?”

In my life, I have come to realise that whether I arrive at an answer to the question, or not, will not change or influence the enormity of events within or outside my/our sphere of influence, or, dare I say, control.

Since so much has happened in my life, over which I would like to have had some influence and possibly control, yet have had none, I believe that I have come to a point of acceptance and possibly, in a positive sense, resignation, that I must, in many, possibly most instances, relinquish any consideration that I have influence or control over a huge number of the events which I would consider, relate to me. We do the best that we can do and that is all we can do. It is our “hangup” with the answers to unanswerable questions that can easily cause us so much disturbance, grief and even trauma. Yet we still pursue the answers to those questions. What comes to mind as I am writing this is a very simple statement.

“Let it go.”

Whether to the ether, or according to the wishes of the God we may honour, or simply according to the wishes of those more directly, closely and intimately involved than us. While we often like to consider ourselves, intimately involved, we are never so much so as the other person themselves. And it may all be up to them. I believe that, most often, what comes back to us is what is appropriate and over which we also have little or no control.

When I referred earlier, in another previous post, to my statement to my daughter about my feelings of admiration, I considered saying that “I was proud of her accomplishments.” But that statement would have inferred a reference about our relationship with each other, and hence, have included me. I chose to say that I admired what she had accomplished because that was, simply, a statement about her, with me as an external observer. That is not always an easy bridge to cross.

I believe, there are times, in life, when we need to extract ourselves from the equation and make observations and consider our relationship with others, and a range of life issues, from a distance, “at arms length”.

I hope that these thoughts may have some meaning for you in your situation @Appleblossom 

@Mumi , I understand that you may be in hospital. I have been concerned about you and how you have been dealing with various life issues. When adding forum addresses to my comments, I have most often offered support, as a gesture, by placing your address between two others who I felt would be able to offer you nurture and a level of support. I hope that wherever you are, you have received, or are receiving, the attention that will assist you in your progress.

With My Very Best Wishes to All,

@HenryX