@Monarcmarc I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Thank you for being brave and sharing this with us.

As it happens, I have completed DBT group therapy last year, which went for 1 year, and the modules were repeated twice. When I first began I found the work very difficult, too, as there is a lot to learn and I wasn't 100% convinced this whole DBT thing would even work. But as the program progressed, I started to lean into it a lot more, and was able to find the skills that worked for me, such as mindfulness.

You have mentioned it is a struggle to complete the diary card as well as practice the exercises, but what I also see in your post is how much you are trying and you are committed to seeking help and creating a better life for yourself, one that you deserve. It's okay to struggle and know you are doing the best you can. 

Are there any particular exercises in the book (presuming you have it? it's a white book with a blue border) that you really like and could implement in your life? Not all of the exercises will work for you, but it's good to keep track of the ones that you find really helpful for you. 🙂