Hi @Sophia1 

i hope the pasdt few days have calmed down a little for you, i know how exhausting it is when we are so so busy, i really struggle with being busy now, i feel so weak these days, only managing a few hours out the shed in any one day. 

i hope the side effects have worn off now, i know my second shot was far worse than the first when i had my covid shots.

family is family, aren't they, love them or not it is what we have and hard times and good times we have a lot of history and the past molds who we are today. im so glad you are still speaking with your mum and i hope she manages to write to you one day. 

oh wit hthe forgiveness part, i don't know if i could ever be as strong as you in that department, i don't know if i could ever forgive the people that hurt me or done me wrong. i know im not perfect and have hurt others too, it is just with my situation it is destroying my future and i have missed out on so much life i should be with my girlfriend and yet i can't leave my mum for fear something will happen to her or me. and it all goes back to my childhood being locked in a room by the nun who abused me. i don't know if i will ever be normal again, i just hope i can overcome some things to enjoy some of the life i have left. 

im so sorry to hear about your older son, it is so so hard when you see someone struggling and you can't help, i hope he reaches out to a professional to get back on track. 

yes, i understand your youngest son, for so long i was looking for love, i came to the realisation it was never going to happen for me and gave up completely and then i met my partner and it happened just by chance, i really hope your son finds someone genuine, it is so difficult today.

im doing ok, going out a little every day, im very exhausted these days, only managing a few hours outside, lost interest in a lot of things of late, not sure why, my girlfriend is going ok, her surgery has been canceled because of covid, so we are dissapointed with that. im so proud of her and all she has achieved this year. mum is doing well, she got back on the walking machine for the first time after her accident, she was so frightened but shedid it 🙂 i was so so proud of her. she was so proud of herself. 

my sleep has been terrible of late, i am always so tired no matter how much sleep i get. im sure it will work itself out. 

i can't waiut to hear about your cats name, maybe tonight at frieday feast if you are on 🙂 hugs my friend, i hope you are enjoying the day. 

Jacques