Hello @saturnzoon 

As a mother I can only begin to feel how devastating that is for you to hear that..

You are your son's mum...regardless of whether you live north ..south.,.east...west..

The girlfriend sounds very controlling...

If you have the opportunity to talk to your son, let him know how important it is for the child to have a grand parent or whatever you choose to call yourself..

I lament the fact that my dad's parents died when he was in his mid twenties, my mum's passed away whilst we were travelling...so we did not experience the valuable time that grandparents provide..

Whatever the outcome..you did your best...