I am so sorry you are dealing with this @D1ng0,

I understand the struggle with doctors and other professionals not treating you as you should be, that has been of mine and my  children's battles for years, but are slowly building up a team that understand them. When I was younger I put myself in hospital twice, and numerous times I sat  and started thinking of ways I could. The thing that pulled me though was my kids. My now 24yo, from the age of 10 or so would tell me how they didn't want to be here, a few years later they started self-harm. It wasn't until they became their true shelf that She was able to handle things a bit better. 

I don't have first hand knowledge about everything you are dealing with, but I am here to support you. I know what it's like not to have support from family and friends, how hard it is for people that haven't been though the same to understand. 

You can even YELL at me and I wont take offence, just as long as you are getting what you need to be supported.