Hi @Daisydreamer 

thank you for your message and for being an ally. It’s sometimes hard to remember that there are allies. 
i struggled for years to accept that I don’t fit the gender binary. Starting testosterone is a very private victory but it also has to remain a private victory. I cannot jeopardise the few support persons I have and they’re anti LGBT and more so anti ‘people who don’t know what they want’ - like me. That makes me sad. I grew up hiding (not related to LGBT) and I still have to ‘hide’ whether it’s my gender, sexuality, mental illness, suicide attempts, cultural background… or just makes me sad. But yes, I’m happy every time I apply T and it feels right. 
my hopelessness and desperation about people not accepting others reaches much deeper than the latest discussion in the media. I have literally been scared for my life for nearly 40 years for other reasons than gender identity. I will never allow myself to be that vulnerable again and will choose another option. I will never experience that again. I have talked to helplines and someone in my acute care team, thank you for asking.

i hope that we’ll have a vivid community here for Mardi Gras as I think they’re are so many who feel alone. 💚🌈