Hi Mum @Nells ,

I hear you. I feel your hopelessness and frustration at the system. I've been there. It is not pleasant. 

Is there anything in particular you would like the hospital to do? I can hear you want help for your daughter, but can you articulate what help you want?

As much as I would hate to be in your position, I understand where they are coming from. Very little can be done when borderlines are emotionally-heightened. When you said they will contact you on 'Friday', do you mean tomorrow? I know it sounds like they don't care, but that 'break' is needed for borderlines to defuse from their heightened state. 

During crises, these are some of the things that kept me:

- overnight 24 ED observation then sent home 

- CATT team visit/phone each day to make sure I am ok

- CATT team looking after my meds and working with me to keep me safe until the next morning

- PARCs admission with clearly defined goals set beforehand

- PACER unit would visit/assess me at my home

- appointment at my area mental health clinic

Long term supports include:

- planned PARCs admissions to prevent relapse

- weekly psychologist appointments

- 18 months MBT treatment for 3hrs/week

- community psychosocial support (6 months with case worker)

- case management (approx 3 years)

During BPD crisis, there is little you can do but be there with her and ride it out. During crisis, I had meds to calm me down and help me sleep so that I'd make it to my appointment the next day. These planned appointments kept me going. I knew I needed to be alive to make the appointment if I really wanted help.

I wish I could be with you in person. I know first hand how hard this is. Remember, this is also very hard for MissBPD. She doesn't choose to be like this. Just let her know you are there for her. I wish I could say "Do XYZ and MissBPD will be all better by next week", but I can't. Not for BPD, and neither can health professionals. It is a slow-moving illness and takes time and effort to change a lifetime's development of an unhelpful mindset.

Things will peak before they can settle. I did not settle until my early 30s. So from 17 to my early 30s, I battled it out. People tried to help, but ultimately, I had to be ready. I was not ready until my 30s. I thought I was ready earlier, but I wasn't, so the treatments did not help. Hospital admission DID NOT help. Help MissBPD cope 1 hr at a time. If that is too much, work on 30 mins. If that is too much, work on being well for the next 5 mins. This is exactly what I had to do - plan 5 mins at a time. I couldn't do anymore.

Hold on Mum @Nells , things will get brighter. 

Can MissBPD reach on on these forums too? She may feel more comfortable writing than speaking.

Hugs, 

BPDSurvivor