Hey @Rick 

I agree with the others, nothing to feel ashamed about, and I'm so glad for all of us (you're included in "us") that your Doc encouraged you to reach out again. We would miss you terribly if you were to stay away. 

After what you (and some others) have been through it is any wonder that you feel intensely vulnerable opeining up anywhere, something which can make any of us react in all sorts of less than "logical" ways in desperation to try and protect ourselves against the possibility of more abuse. Please try to be kind and gentle with yourself about this, as I'm sure you would be with anyone else here in the same circ's.

So whilst the fire in your own hope is rekindled, I feel we might need to have a bit of a bonfire which we each throw a stick on so that there's a lighthouse reminding us all... hope does endure.

Kindest regards,

Kristin