Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Cecillie]

Hi everyone, my daughter is now 22 years old and has become very unwell mentally. In 2022 she was homeless in Melbourne.  She still comes home from time to time but mainly couch surfs in Melbourne. She has never finished a psychiatric evaluation but has only been diagnosed with BPD traits by a psychologist.  She also has drug and alcohol addiction issues. 

It is heartbreaking to see her not doing anything productive with her life. She scraped through VCE and passed but hasnt done anything since.  Next time she comes home I will broach with her the topic of re-engaging with mental health services but she has previously said she doesnt want or need help.  Dont really need any advice but just want to chat to any other people with similar  issues. 

[Valiant83]

Feeling your dilemma @Cecillie 🩵 reaching out for support made a difference to how I managed my reactions to my son’s mental illness 

[Paperdaisy]

I'm so sorry @Cecillie that's so hard for any parent to have to watch and to feel so helpless. I hope you have your own supports in place to get through this difficult time. Maybe you can find a BPD carers support group in your area? 

[MermaidHair]

Welcome to the forums @Cecillie. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with your daughter. Watching a loved one suffer from poor mental health and substance abuse issues, feeling powerless to do anything with them being not receptive to help is a really horrible position to be in.

Having good care and support for yourself is crucial, reaching out here is a great first step. You are not alone.  

[Tranquil_Atoms]

You sound like a very caring parent @Cecillie. Your daughter is lucky to have you on her team.

I could only imagine how difficult it must be for your help to be turned down. She may for whatever reason be wanting to navigate this on her own. 

Respecting her decision in this time is important as one day she may need to fall back on you for support.

It's also important you care for yourself while going through this.

Do you have support network you can count on if required?