Lived Experience Forum

[Elke888]

Hi 

I am new to posting on Forums, and would appreciate anyone who has experienced this insidious behaviour of Parent/Grandparent alienation to offer any suggestions for coping in later life. 

For the last 20+ years I have been only barely coping using innermost strength to get by each day. 

I have totally isolated myself now, and unsure where I go from here. 

No family or friends to confide in or to fall back on, or for support, and each day just seems to feel like a useless day of emptiness. 

Unless you have experienced alienation it is difficult to explain, it is child abuse, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the circumstances.

Children whom have been brainwashed and groomed to hate a loving parent is cruel and teaches that child to carry that on through their parenting. 

I love my sons and grandsons, and the pain is unbearable knowing they are only a five minute drive away and I cannot be involved in their lives. 

Love to all

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Elke888 Welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear you are experiencing this. I can hear your pain and it must be so awful! I worked with children who were going through this and I saw the impact it had on the parent, who became alienated. I really feel for you. 

I hope there will be some others here who can offer support and share their experiences. 

Please reach out if you need anything and our counsellors are available until 10pm at night if you want to chat to someone 1800 187 263 💝

Take care 

[Elke888]

Thank you for your support- I feel safe now and hope to find a little peace here with others 

🙂 🌸

[Dimity]

Hello and welcome, @Elke888 .

I haven't experienced parent/grandparent alienation and can only sympathise.

I'm single and since my parents passed away I've experienced family estrangement from siblings and like you, find myself alone in later life. 

I hope you can find connection here, especially in the social threads. 

Best wishes 

Dimity

[TuxedoCat]

Hey @Elke888, thank you so much for sharing your story. Welcome ❤️ 

This sounds so painful and it's really unfair. I'm sorry ❤️ 

While I'm not a parent or grandparent, I know the pain on wanting to see people who are important to us, that we love, but just not being able to. It hurts and is a really deep sadness. 

I also hear so much strength and determination when you say you've got through the last 20+ years on your own strength. It must have been so difficult. You don't deserve to go through this alone, so I'm glad you're reaching out.

One person who comes to mind for me is @Appleblossom. And I also the thread The Virtual Village - a space for parenting 'stuff' could also be useful. 

I look forward to getting to know you more ❤️ 

[Elke888]

Hello Dimity, 

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

Saddens me you are alone, also, and can only wish you the best for future happiness with understanding and loving friends. 

I feel the continued kindness one gives to family and friends the more advantage they take to try and destroy the goodness in you, (if that makes sense) through their insecurities. 

Takes courage to open your heart and be vulnerable to strangers-at this point I am hopeful for a peaceful existence with others who care for each other. 

Thank you again for acknowledging my post 

🌸🌸

[Elke888]

Thank you, Paperdaisy, 

It took a long time to accept/ understand the term ‘parent alienation’ , why, when and how it develops, and the lifelong effects it has on children. 

I have had consultations with about 8 Psychologists to address ‘parent alienation’, unfortunately, none were too familiar how to address it, and left feeling hopeless and full of guilt. 

Thank you again 

🌸

[Former-Member]

@Elke888 sorry to hear of your plight.i come from the other side where our parents alienated from us .it Is a horrible thing and now sure to resolve it.ive tried a few times only to be hurt in the process.

All I can say is keep your chin up and it's  there loss your not in their lives. 

All the best

[Elke888]

Hello, and thank you for your kind thoughts. 

Alienation is insidious.

My thoughts are with you to find a happy path and live without undeserved hurt. 

Unfortunately, my adult children aren’t fully aware why they feel this way toward me, hopefully one day the truth will be revealed as it was for me 15 years ago. 

Sending happy thoughts to you. 

Keep safe 🌸

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Elke888,

I just finished reading your post. I can feel the pain of your words - I can only imagine how hard this must be for you and for anyone that has gone through / is going through something like this.

I wish I had some words of wisdom or insight to offer you but I don't. I really do feel for you and hope this situation improves for you very soon. Hopefully others have some advice or wise words to offer you around this. 

Sending you best wishes and strength,

FloatingFeather