Lived Experience Forum

[CherryBomb]

Mental health challenges in parenthood: Speaking the unspeakable

Parenting is challenging.  Change can happen in every area of wellbeing: physical, emotional and social, and the impact on daily functioning can be huge. Knowing when and how to speak up about the difficulties of parenting is complex. There are often expectations that define parenthood as something to be enjoyed. But sometimes these expectations don't match reality. Join us this Topic Tuesday with our special guests from PANDA to talk about how to speak the unspeakable. 

 Two things you can do now:

1. Register as a member of the forums, which enables you to participate in the session

2. Hit the like button below to receive an email reminder on the night

3. Can't make it? Leave your question below to be answered during the session 

[Sanefan]

A social assumption is that family are always there when a family member is experiencing a crisis. It can be devastating when this is not the case, as in my lived experience after asking for support (visiting for a cup of tea)from my large family when discovering that one of our children was using an illicit drug. This can negatively impact on a parents' mental health and wellbeing further and it is difficult then to know who to trust, who to reach out to for further help and support. Social stigma, shame and guilt are alive and well in rural regions of Australia. How can we educate communities to work together in combating these issues, supporting loving families and their children who are shunned by their communities? It DOES take a village to build a stronger community.

[Decadian]

I  will make an effort to get to this forum tonight

My subject is that parenthood does not stop as our children get older - my daughter is 44 and I am sure does not realise that I am still activity parenting even though it is in a "hands off" mode.

Her brother ended his troubled life when he was 16 and she was 14 - and she never has wanted to talk about it - never has talked about it - doesn't want to talk about him -

But her resentment is so obvious I could take a photo of it - and I just let her alone

But I feel her attitude - and I am letting her alone for weeks at a time - I am not welcome at birthdays etc - even Christmas is difficult - I know she has her own life - and I certainly have mine

So - my question - seeing as I am a parent - parenting continues - and yet it is hard to know how to parent someone in their 40s with so much underlying tension

Decadian

[PANDA]

Hello @Decadian…you are so right. We never stop being a parent. It doesn’t matter how old our children are we still worry about them. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It sounds as though your son’s death was the beginning of your daughter emotionally slipping away from you. It is really tricky knowing how to help someone who is not wanting or seeking help.

[Acacia]

Welcome to tonight's Topic Tuesday on “Speaking the unspeakable” with special guests, Jenni (@PANDA) and Suzanne (@Squirrel), from Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA).

Thank you for RSVP-ing @Shaz51, @Sanefan, @Decadian, @Snare183, @mrkotter, @Former-Member and @Catzpaw. I hope you could join us 🙂 And thank you for your questions @Sanefan and @Decadian.

At any stage of parenting, speaking out about how you're really feeling as a parent can sometimes feel like “speaking the unspeakable”. Tonight we encourage you to share your experiences, current or past, both the challenges and the things that have helped overcome them. Jenni and Suzanne will be here to share some of their insights as professionals in the field of perinatal depression and anxiety so if you have any questions, please ask away.

[Squirrel]

Hi @Sanefan, it is hard to know who to trust. It can take a leap of faith. So often our families get it wrong and it makes it harder to reach out again. It does take a village like you say to raise our children well because when one does not know what to do another will. Sometimes we need to be the ones who teach the very thing we need. It becomes a part of the challenges we face in difficult times.. We can’t be all things to all people and our family is no different. Have you found any support @Sanefan?

[PANDA]

Hi @Acacia it is great to be here.

[ssc]

HI I'm following along too. I'm 32wks pregnant and just started on anti-anxiety medication today. Thanks for hosting tonight!

[Acacia]

It's a shame that the support we're after isn't always there. I'm wondering if other members have had different or similar experiences to @Sanefan when they've reached out to friends and family?

[PANDA]

Congratulations @ssc is this your first child? It is great that you have sought help and have commenced treatment before bub is here. Brave of you to put your hand up and seek the help you need!