Lived Experience Forum

[Nic1963]

Hi everyone,

Found out this morning I have BPD. So my full diagnosis now i suppose is Anxiety, Depression, CPTSD & BPD. Finding this out has given me some closure as I understand BPD more then I do CPTSD. Had some problems with my partner tonight, just a small argument that really got me frazzled. At the moment im staying in a community mental health facility and I leave tomorrow to stay at his Grandmothers house. I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything i have to put in place when I get back to reality, quite scared about moving to stay at a new house for a while, nervous and shaky. I found myself aimlessly scrolling through facebooks news feed like everything was a blur. I'll be staying with my partner from tomorrow on and I'm not scared of him, he doesn't harm me, but im worried about his understanding of it all and the fact that his actions can trigger me. I can imagine it would be like walking on glass for him but I feel like where I have been over the past 4 weeks - Hospital wards/Community facility has been a bubble for me to heal mentally and i'm not quite ready to leave. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience on any of this?

[Teej]

Hi @Nic1963, 

i have a somewhat similar diagnosis. When I left the psych ward I went straight to a new house and new life. I think that the changes helped for a while because there was lots to do. I was setting up a new house and had very little furniture etc so it was busy. 

I’ve  had a few other stays too which were really hard coming home from. I get that leaving the bubble feeling (even being in a climate controlled environment is a bit of a bubble). I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is not to have too many expectations of yourself. It takes time and patience and practice to work at the relationship stuff and to get back to day to day stuff. I think just finding ways to communicate openly and gently will be helpful. 

Good luck with going home, it sounds like it’s a new beginning though which brings new hope. 

[Nic1963]

Hi @Teej

That’s good advice, I have heard it before but I keep forgetting that number one rule to take it slow. I can imagine being busy would be so distracting and probably good in a way. Thank you, I hope so too although it’s only temporary until we find our own place which will be just as stressful!

[outlander]

Hi @Nic1963
Its alright to be nervous to go back out. Its very different inside than it is outside. Just take your time adjusting. It took me over a month to be comfortable once i left hospital. Baby steps. Find what works well for you to be able to manage daily living.

[outlander]

Will keep chatting on the other thread @Nic1963 😊

[outlander]

Hey @Nic1963 i seen somewhere your plans had fallen through for your living arrangements. 

What happens now? 

[Teej]

I just read your post @Nic1963 on the other thread too. I’m feeling for you just now. Do you have anywhere to go? So sorry you are going through this. 

[outlander]

@Sans911  this might explain abit more for you 

[Wombat196]

I connected with your experiance as well hun and the part I’d like to comment on is your partner and how he can help u and u can help him in understanding how you feel when he ses or dose something that triggers or hurts use i statements like when you said X I felt this way if you said it in this way I think it would help me not get the wrong mesage and you not feel like you need to tread on egg shells as long as you can off or a suggestion to what you feel from hun and he can chose to do it differently or not but  he will know next time that is how you feel or that was a trigger to how your feeling  it’s his choice than to keep it going or to help you and your recovery and your relationship just a suggestion to work with or not 

[outlander]

Hi @Nic1963 just wondering how your getting on?

Hi @Wombat196 and welcome aboard. Feel free to take a look around, create your own thread and also introduce yourself on the introduce  yourself here thread