Not Coping

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, it can certainly be tricky. It’s just when I read your posts that I realised you may have also experience enmeshment trauma. It was different for me, different families have different experiences. I think a lot of it comes down to my mum’s separation anxiety and her own mental health struggles. She’s never been to therapy even though I do feel like it would help her if she could build a safe relationship. But I doubt she will ever trust a therapist. There is only so much I can do. My mum would be the one coming to field trips, texting me to check in I was okay if I was out with friends during high school. She has also asked what I discussed in therapy session on numerous occasions, now I don’t really bother informing them of all my appointments

[Birdofparadise8]

My mum sounds very similar to yours, @creative_writer 

She doesn't want to go to therapy due to her miscarriages, losing my sister, who was four premature, and then me being three months perm as well. Also, her anxiety. I've told her a few times she should go but she won't. 

Maybe there is something there because we both have the Enmeshment and they both fon't want to go to therapy. 

[Blackbird11]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 

I just had a nap, will cook dinner now.

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah nice I hope you enjoyed your nap @Blackbird11 

What are you having for dinner? 

Did you get your study done? I'm just looking at some research on sexual assault in CALD communities and how reporting the assault can bring shame to families. It's not a very nice thing. 

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, my mum has trust issues and trauma. I notice things that I don’t think she knows. She was never outwardly mentioned SI to me, but I know she hasn’t gotten it. She has told me about her problems, her past even, but you know, I feel helpless on helping her even though I want to. I tend to shut down. I’ve wondered maybe I’m suppose to help her, she listens to her mum’s problems on the phone, I’ve wondered whether I’m supposed to do the same

[creative_writer]

@Birdofparadise8, discussing SA is a big no in my culture. It’s just how it is. It’s purely cultural, people try so hard to put a religious spin, it’s infuriating

[Birdofparadise8]

From the article you gave me,, I think your feeling like this is a sign of the enmeshment in your relationship with your mother. Maybe you can share things with her and she can share things with you but maybe it's the amount she is relying on could be unhealthy, but I'm not sure @creative_writer 

[Blackbird11]

It was good @Birdofparadise8 

I'm making cashew chicken with rice.

I read what I need to do now just thinking about how to go about putting down what I want to say.

Sounds hard going with your study.

[Birdofparadise8]

That sounds yummy @Blackbird11 

Good to hear. 

It's alright. I chose to do a criminology unit, so there will be a lot of bad things in it. 

I haven't had any sexual experiences, so I don't have any issue with talking about these things as I haven't had an assault or anything. However, I'm definitely not saying it's a good thing at all. It's so awful. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @Kyle1 

How are you today?