Not Coping

[Blackbird11]

Hi @Birdofparadise8 

Things are going well today. I have study this evening... we are doing simulated role-play tonight.

How are you? How have your appointments been?

[Birdofparadise8]

Do you have to do that in person? What do you have to do that is simulated role-play do you know? 

I’ve just seen my psych and we have been talking about the bullying, school, karate and ballet. He said that karate has you put an armor up and block your emotions and at ballet we also need to focus on the dance so we can’t be sad and then again at school and after I couldn’t feel my emotions. 
he said it’s like my memories are in a big mash and not in an order. Where they are supposed to be and the pain is still there and hasn’t been processed. 
I haven’t got the bag I don’t think mum wants me to get anything. 
got the ticket. When I was on the train for my appointment past the mcg there were so many people there. It’s going to be so crazy the next few days. 

Here is what I told enkeli about my session @Blackbird11 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 I can imagine the MCG will be a madhouse for sure.

I haven't been doing much, I have some boxes I still haven't unpacked from when I moved back to my house last year so I am sorting through stuff that I can either get rid of or donate. It's too hot to do anything much else. 

I think what your psych said makes a lot of sense. You were involved in 2 very disciplined activities and being able to let yourself feel would be difficult. You can do it though and I know that you will get better. I just wish our minds would heal quicker than they do 😊

[Blackbird11]

The role-play was increasing the safety of an individual. I was very shaky but I passed. So happy with that. The sunset was amazing...

Sounds like you've had to suppress your emotions for a long time @Birdofparadise8 

It will take time to heal, you can do it, you are brave, resilient and courageous. Good for you to have the support of your psych.

Melbourne will be inundated with Swifty fans! What night do you go... so close now, you must be soo excited?

@ENKELI one moment, one day, one thought at a time, healing will come. Stay safe 💚

[Birdofparadise8]

Ah cool. I'm pleased you passed. 

I'm going to Saturday. 

Yeah, a long time at least 15 years. 

Yes, it will be so many people. 

I'd love to stay and chat but I need to go to bed I need to get up earlier for my job interview tomorrow. 

@Blackbird11 

[Blackbird11]

Good luck tomorrow @Birdofparadise8 sleep well, goodnight. 

[Birdofparadise8]

Thank you @Blackbird11 

[tyme]

I'm starting to feel the Swifty hype. You're going tomorrow, right @Birdofparadise8 . Stay safe with those tens of thousands of fans! Or even hundred thousand!

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah it's going to be so good @tyme 

I had a job interview today. It went well, other than my referee pulling out at the last minute, but I found one just in time. I've been so stressed all day. 

Mum is here as well. She is adding to the stress a little. Anyway, I need to be very thankful for her as she has been giving me money for food since I haven't been working and my savings are in a term deposit. 

Did you see what my psych and I talked about yesterday regarding bullying and stuff? 

How are you?

[Birdofparadise8]

OMG Taylor Swift the eras tour was the best concert I’ve ever been. It was absolutely amazing. 
It went for over three hours with a few extra songs which included all to well ten minute version. 
@tyme @Blackbird11 @ENKELI @creative_writer @Jynx @Bow @amber22 @Snowie @Shaz51 @RiverSeal