Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sharon3]

My husband is 36 and very confused at times forgets events when he behaves out of character like anger rude talking to different women he will later no recall the events when asked after some time. My husband works still collecting blood in pathology he likes to look after his family me and our two Chn 10 and 2. But I am starting to feel really not coping as he refuses treatment and says there is nothing wrong with him. Since 4 years this started he also started smoking and drinking wines which seems to be getting better he smokes1-2 cigarets a day. Drinks at times one wine a day or 2 beers. When he is really confused he seems to start womanising and I behaves like he is not married then later he cannot remember for example 3 years ago he was talking to a Uni student while he was there and had an affair when he was alert he told her to leave him he is married I was there and asked me to reinforce. Then last year two years later that woman 31 contacted my husband to say she had his son who had a terminal genetic condition. My husband then was asking me to speak to her and said he does not know her looking very distressed. Then the woman just vanished. We have not heard since. Now he is mental again he is telling me a woman with 4 kids is having his child I should be proud of him. This is not normal coming from a very traditional person. We are from Africa so it appears the women are putting spells on him. I don't know how he can get better he says upsetting and strange things. We have had a happy marriage since 2004 this all started 2013. So I know something is very wrong. He was a very caring and loving husband who would do anything for me and our lives has changed at the blink of an eye. He is ok with the Chn but was exceptional before his craziness started. He sleeps home every night and pays bills but uses his mobile to talk to strange women constantly after some time changes. All his problems started after meeting his evil friend I do not know what he did to my husband. My husband functioning has declined especially he does not understand his role as a husband. He tries to look after his Chn n wife but the constant calls and texts from strange women demanding him to divorce and come to him know no bounds. He seems unable to have the strength required to make boundaries.
Any insight

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Sharon3

That sounds very confusing and distressing. My first thought is how you are coping, and the need for support systems around you and the children.

Do you mind telling us which state you are in ? The moderators might be able to give you advice about counselling and support services in your state.

@NikNik @suzanne @Lunar @FancyPants .... are a few of our moderators here on the forums.

It sounds like your husband needs some assessment, but it also sounds like he is in denial and will likely refuse ..... so you will need help to work out how you and the children will manage until his behaviour is sorted out.

Take care ..... keep posting here ..... you are not alone.

🌷💜. F&H

[NikNik]

Hi @Sharon3

Welcome to the Forums.

I thought it would be worthwhile flagging an upcoming Topic Tuesday on Boundaries that you might find helpful.

The session is on 22 Nov, 7pm AEDT and all you have to do is log on at that time to participate.

I would encourage other members who are caring for a partner to jump in and share your wisdom with Sharon3

Take care,

Nik

[Shaz51]

Hello @Sharon3

how are you going ??

have not heard from you for a while , hope everything is ok

love to hear from you, sending you hugs my friend

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thinking of you @Sharon3 ....

Would love an update on how you're doing if you're up to it.

Take care of you.

🌷💜

[Sharon3]

Thankyou all is settling in God's hands sorry for being quiet I had trouble logging in.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good to hear from you@Sharon3

🌷💜

[Sharon3]

Doing much better there is healing in prayers. I have been praying with my pastors a lot of the issues like these are spiritual battles and I believe a lot of work needs to be done in spirit first. And in the physical we can only do little. Things are a lot better because even if you relate spiritual issues nobody can understand it's not a mental issue. And also if people don't have understanding the help can be useless. I believe prayers are essential and I pray that everyone spiritual eyes open so we can understand that there is a spiritual realm and we all need to know when issues become spiritual. Thanks for the hugs. The bible in Ephesians 6 tells us our battle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness in highest places. There are spiritual forces. I have been also watching a lot of deliverances online through Emmanuel tv please look and see and open your spiritual eyes the devil is very real and ignorance is a sin

[Shaz51]

Hello @Sharon3

it is good hearing from you , i am glad that things are better

prayers are essential , I agree , we also have to do our bit as well or they are just words my friend

There is a lot of advice in the Bible , like "do not be afraid", " be of good courage"

how are you going today xx