Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[CherryBomb]

Heya Cholekat,

Sorry I missed your posts - they came through on nights that I wasn't online. I'm glad to hear that you are looking after yourself despite the challenges that anxiety can bring. Getting a massage sounds like a great idea. They can be so relaxing and soothing. And I think it's great to allow yourself to have that space to care and nurture yourself.

I think mindfulness can be on and off.  Sometimes my mind is so busy and chaotic and I can feel more bothered afterwards than calm. Other times I can feel my mind become still and calm, which feels serene. But I think this is all part of learning new behaviour. With more practice it gets better. I'm no teacher in mindfulness, but I think this is part of the lesson: that it's something that I'm learning to do, and with learning comes it challenges, with this comes accepting the struggle and making some space for it. Easier said than done though! 😉 And of course, mindfulness is not for everyone either. 

There's also some other resources that may be helpful. I'm not sure what state you're in but ADAVIC (Anxiety Disorder Assosiation of Victoria) has some great self-help information on their website and information to support services too. Also 'Don't Panic', which is a book that was written by a psychologist or psychotherapist who specialises in anxiety is a great read too. ADAVIC has written a pretty good review about it.

I hope some of this help. Please let me know how things are going.   

Take care,

CherryBomb 

[Hobbit]

Hi Chloekat,

I'm called Hobbit, and I'm another moderator on this forum. I just saw your posts, and thought I'd send a big welcome to the forum.

You sound like a lovely person, and you show a lot of courage in reaching out to people such as on this forum. I hope you continue to drop in and have a chat.

In regards to your initial posts, what I personally find helps me with anxiety is making "a thing" of everything I do. What I mean by that is whatever I do, I make a point to concentrate on that as "the thing I am doing right now". For example, if I am walking to the shops, I make "a thing" of it', I will make it my purpose to walk to the shops, and then when I get home I can therefore say to myself "that was my purpose and I carried it out well"

I find I can do this with anything, cleaning the house, catching a train, whatever I do. If I feel like I have a purpose, and I am carrying out that purpose, then I feel a sense of achievement as I am doing it, and I find that helps lessen my anxiety somewhat.

It's kind of like mindfulness, living in the present moment and focusing on the task at hand. For example, right now I am typing this post. So I am "making it a thing". I am telling myself "I am writing this post and will do it as best I can". When I have finished, I can then say to myself "my purpose was to type that post and I achieved that purpose". That sense of achievement (however minor) helps to combat my anxiety.

Please bear in mind, this works for me, not necessarily other people. These are just my own thoughts, that I thought may help.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

Does anyone else have any other thoughts they would like to share?

[Chloekat]

That sounds like a great idea Hobbit. I have been doin simmilar activities like focussing on what im doing at that moment in time and also burning off adrenaline by getting my heart rate up high so doing high intensity exercise for at least 2 minutes 5 times a day helps to et rid of that extra tension. Ive only just tried it and so far its worked. I love dancing do thats my exercise of choice 🙂 Talk soon and take care x

[Hobbit]

Hi ChloeKat,

Just a quick note to see how you are going? Remeber there are always people that are willing to talk to you and help.

[Chloekat]

Hello Hobbit how r u? Im doing alrite at the moment. My meds have kicked in and im feeling more like myself again although i sometimes feel neaseus but that can be a side affect. I see my psychiatrist for the first time on monday so feeling pretty nervous about that but im sure it will be fine. I then see my psycholoist later in the week but need to take my daughter to it as no1 can look after her and she has no childcare that day so dont think we will be able to do the meditation we were talking about doing. Oh well such is life. I then have to organise a joint party for my son and daughter as they're bdays are so close together. so ot a lot to do next week with appts etc. How are you Hobbit? Hope you are doin well? Take care x

[Hobbit]

Hi Chloekat,

Sorry I haven't replied for a while. How was the psychiatrist on Monday? It sounds like you have been very busy. When is the joint birthday party for your kids? And how old are they turning? My daughter is 17 y/o, so having Dad around is more of an embarrasment nowadays than anything else!!

I've been pretty good thanks. I hope you are going well, and drop us all a note when you have the time.

[Chloekat]

Hey Hobbit. Also i forgot to tell u that the joint birthday is going to be this sunday so should be fun well i hope anyways as i dont want my anxiety or depression to ruin it. Wish me luck with it 🙂

[Hobbit]

Chloekat,

I wish you all the very best with the birthday party tomorrow. Have fun, knowing that you deserve to!!

Hobbit.

[Chloekat]

Hello Hobbit. Well the kids enjoyed it and i put on my happy face for everyone but for some strange reason ive been strugling a lot with anxiety and depression today. Trying to hold back the tears. I have no reason to be sad so i dont understand why im like this. That ruined the day internally for me and as soon as i came home the tears started flowing and my son asked "whats wrong mummy?" and i just said i didnt feel well as hes only 6 and doesnt understand. Im still trying to hold back th tears. I have my folks staying a few days, they go home tomoro and they are visiting my sister at the moment and i just feel empty and alone and dont understand why :'(

[Fatima]

Well the weather was terrible today. That wouldn't help. I hope you feel a little better tomorrow. Put some nice music on and take a relaxing bath. Or whatever else makes you feel more at ease.