Lived Experience Forum

[Rosie29]

• Hi I've never written on anything like this before. I apologise if this turns into a novel. I have bpd, anxiety, depression, PTSD and agoraphobia. 
• I've struggled with life since I was very young child started. Used hard drugs from the age of 11 (I haven't used anything in over 5 years now) started self harming at the age of 9 tried multiple times to commit suicide. I still have strong feelings of wanting to end it all due to strong emotions and the memorys/the pain inside. I have not attempted in a long time. 
• I've been in very dangerous dv situations which I'm surprised I even made it out alive. I've got extreme trauma from everything.
• Im at the point where I just want to try and live a "normal life". Everytime I feel I'm leveling out everything spirals. I am medicated which takes the edge off. But I just don't know how to live. I have a good partner unfortunately he does not understand mental health at all. He has also made my health worse at times. When I first started dating I found he had a problem with escorts which has continued on and off. Which has destroyed my self worth I feel like I'm nothing. This I feel took the last part of the little of me that was left after everyone else that has hurt me took their piece. I feel like a plate that's been broken and I keep attempting to place my plate back but I will never go back. I don't want to be unwell anymore. 
• I have no friends or family nearby. I want to be stronger and be able to provide for my children. I don't even know how I'm meant to study when my brain is out of wack :(. 

[tyme]

Hi there @Rosie29 ,

Welcome to the forums.

Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. It sounds like you have been through a lot of challenging situations.

Do you have any extra supports? e.g. psychologist, therapist, counsellor? It's important you get the support deserve.

Also, have you ever contacted 1800RESPECT? https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Please continue reaching out. Hopefully you will feel less alone.

Hope to see you around on the forums.

[Rosie29]

Yes I have a councillor, except I'm thinking of changing as everytime we speak we end up talking about the kids or my animals (she's an animal lover to!) Not much about me getting help that I'm asking for unfortunately. She's also telehealth as I have transport issues. 

Yes I've spoken on and off with 1800respect they are an amazing service that has helped me many times. Thankyou for responding. 

[tyme]

Have you heard of our Guided Service? You may be interested in participating in these 1:1 personalised telehealth service (if you are eligible) https://www.sane.org/referral

@Rosie29 . You deserve it. 

[Kyle1]

@Rosie29  Hi Rosie.

Welcome. You can find friends and rapport here.

Kind regards.

[Rosie29]

Thankyou so much, I didn't know about that. I have put my details in.