Something’s not right
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11-03-2023 09:38 AM
11-03-2023 09:38 AM
Escallated
Last night I went to bed like normal. My sister was fine, she doesnt sleep much so I dont stay up for her, not that I should have too.
Anyhow an hour later my Mum rings and tells me something is wrong with my sister and to go down and help Dad. As Im leaving my room Dad is at my door asking me if he should call an ambulance.
Go down to find my sister completely out of it, hardly responsive, when shes talking its just uncoherant, falls asleep at a drop of a hat and nearly falling off her seat. Very clear that she has O/D be it accidental or on purpose, I was like yes Dad you call an ambulance, like its not something you should think about you should just be doing it.
Keep in mind Ive gone to bed, so Ive taken all my medications, alot being sedatives so Im not on my A game at all. All my body wants to do is sleep and my brain seriously doesnt want to think.
Ambulance came and we were able to work out a range of meds she took and they took her to hospital, where she is now. Trying to get info at the moment but no one will answer the phone.
During the day she had said something about what I would do if I thought she had over dosed and I said Id call an ambulance of course. I really didnt think anything of it as it seemed like an off the cuff remark and she says shit like that all the time. I feel like I should have realised, that I should have done something. Like maybe I should have taken her meds, I have all the lighters and I hold on to the car (shared) keys. But where does it stop, do I put all the knives in my room, you know anything sharpe, anything dangerous. Then of course I would have to put a lock on my room and hand out half the house to people as they need them.
On the other side I am, and I feel guilty that I am, but Im angry that she has done this. Burning is one thing, I got pretty mad that she took off in the car, but this really ticks me off. I know she has BPD and all the sudden my world is all about that and now this. Its not fair for her but what she is putting me through is BS
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12-03-2023 09:17 AM
12-03-2023 09:17 AM
Re: Escallated
@ClockFace so your sister is in hospital now?
Your situation sounds really trying and wearisome.
If your sister is presently in hospital, she is with professional carers. Take this time to rest, restore, and do for you, Malen.
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12-03-2023 03:03 PM
12-03-2023 03:03 PM
Re: Escallated
Shes home again now. They let her stay an extra day but didnt keep her, which I cant understand.
I did take some time out for me, but I was down yesterday with some essentials for her. Its a long drive there and back so you lose a good part of the day
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12-03-2023 05:10 PM
12-03-2023 05:10 PM
Re: Escallated
@ClockFace oh really... so how far did you need to drive?
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13-03-2023 05:46 AM
13-03-2023 05:46 AM
Re: Escallated
Hey mate, its around an hour either way but there was a delay in seeing her doctor and getting the ok to leave and we "had" to go to Bunnings and Officeworks. So, it took like 4 hours.
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14-03-2023 09:53 AM
14-03-2023 09:53 AM
Re: Escallated
She was found and she is safe. The what if's don't matter. What you seem to be doing is arguing with yourself about how responsible you are for her. In the end, she needs to take responsibility for her own actions and she needs to want to get better, otherwise, you are fighting someone, and that's conflict and that can be really unhealthy for someone with their own issues to deal with.
Sane has free counsellors @ClockFace , this event shoulds like it would be a good time for you to reach out to a professional and have a chat as it's something that would have been quite traumatic.
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14-03-2023 12:23 PM
14-03-2023 12:23 PM
Re: Escallated
Ive come to the conclusion that there is little I can do to prevent further harm. If she wants to she will find a way. The most I can do is try and be there for the aftermath and take her to ER if she needs it. If I need to go out and leave her alone, I make sure she feels safe if she does off I go, if not she comes with, if she wants. Either way I need to go out. Same with bed, I got to bed and if something happens its up to Dad to deal with it unless its more than he can handle in which case he gets me, a completely out of it, medication full person who tries to tell him what to do and if ER is needed he has a trip to make.
Ive taken some steps back, I cant handle it all not with all my stuff as well. Just my medical stuff is enough for a person to handle, not to mention mental health.