Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

You know what? You may just need to be assertive. @Rockdog . Let them know that deep down, you know this if for you. People can tell you anything, but you know what is right.

[Rockdog]

Aww thanks @tyme 

You are right. I don’t need to tell anyone now anyway.I was just trying to say I feel better.  I used to go over it because I couldn’t understand why things happened like they did and I thought I was crazy. But now I feel like it was a sign to calm down, things are meant to be where they are. You are the only one that gets it. I did tell you everything though so others don’t get the full story. When I first saw her I freaked out because I got a really cold look. Then the cute wave has just reassured me. I still feel a little crazy because I know but don’t know. When I run into her next time I don’t know what to do because I don’t know how many chances I will get. Do I tell her how I feel and most probably get crushed? Or just say wassup? Will I make happy land? If I do make it could you become in annonomous for the wedding? Is it normal to feel something so strongly that everyone else questions?

[Rockdog]

Hey @tyme,

how are things? Are you free to chat?

[tyme]

Heya, I've been waiting @Rockdog . Hope today has been okay.

[Rockdog]

Hey @tyme,

pretty quite, things are a bit of a struggle at the moment.

How about you?

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling @Rockdog .

For me, I've been a bit unusually tired and I'm trying to work out why. Not sure if it's an iron-lvl thing or that I need more sleep... other than that, I feel quite good.

Have you found work yet?

Also, are you still going to do that course?

[Rockdog]

Hey @tyme,

no no I haven’t found anything. That is what has been frustrating. And I haven’t heard anything from the course. Each Friday they offer placements and i5 has been a while so I don’t think I will get in. I always feel so flat in winter, I have been sleeping too much. 

[Rockdog]

Hey @tyme,

I really need some of your positive energy. I am really doubting anything will work out. It can’t while my life is a mess, and I’m not sure if it will improve. 

What do you think about next time I see her? Do I tell her how I feel or wait? She just looked at me blankly to start last time so not really sure. 

[tyme]

Tell her? It's hard to say. It depends on the situation so I don't want to say yes nor do I want to say no. @Rockdog .

I'm hearing how hard things are for you. Only you can make the difference @Rockdog . I can believe, but you also need to. Believe that things will improve. Things will work out. Things will get better.

I hear you are sleeping too much and you may be even more inclined not to look for work. What do you think you need to help you get going again?

With the course, would you consider doing it online? Through APIC or something?

[Rockdog]

Hi @tyme,

Yeah I’m not sure what I would do in the situation. I guess that is why I am scared.

I now know that the universe is helping make it happen, but only if I can do it properly.

That is why I am scared. Every time people tell me she didn’t have feeling I lose more confidence. You think she did though don’t you? When she said ‘did you think something would happen?’it left me feeling pretty unsure.

Maybe I could do the course elsewhere, but TAFE were offering it for free and the others would cost a lot. I should look into other options. I have been applying for lots of jobs, but not in areas I would be happy. I think that is the key.

It is really weird, but sometimes after the encounter I feel so at peace and sleep so well. Other times I doubt myself and whether things are real.

I just know I love her, but I don’t know if she would love someone old and unstable.