Changing meds

[WIP]

Morning @Anastasia 

Thank you for taking the time and interest to read all of my thread - that's so very kind of you.

I hope you've had a good start to the week. 
Is your boy back home or still with his Dad?

Where did you buy the Owl diamond painting - was it online?

Me, I haven't had a good start to the day really.  Woke countless times and have been bawling, not just crying, for the past hour. My body has gotten used to my anti-anxiety Meds, so they don't calm me anymore.

I don't think I can keep living like this. My unit is a mess, I haven't been able to clean for a couple

of weeks. It's disgusting....Having a shower this morning feels an impossible task. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. This is so painful.

Its been 5 days of the increased dose of AD medication, I would have hoped for an improvement by now. This medication is our last resort, I don't know what will happen next. This is living, it's a painful existence.

WIP ❤️

[Former-Member]

Hi  @WIP ,

I am really sorry to hear how tough this morning has been for you. Certain medications can take some time to work, so I do want to encourage to follow your doctor's recommendations and check in with them as needed  Take one day at a time and focus on doing what you can 🌻

It can be challenging to sit through these painful feelings. So, in addition to the forums, don't forget you can also reach out to our lovely counselors at the SANE Help Centre  🌸 

[Anastasia]

Oh dear @WIP 

It's Ok, I always intended on reading all of them, but wanted to send you a reply initially so you knew I was here for you.

I wish I could help make you feel better and take away the pain, I really do 😞

I can hear the pain and it is awful for you. I am so sorry that this is still going on for you. I have witnessed my boy with similar on more than one occassion and it is awful for him. Please don't stop reaching out to services available, I know it probably feels like you are drowning but there is hope, keep reaching out. Your messy house can wait, mine's messy too as are most probably with covid and being home more. Don't beat yourself up.

The dose increase will take time before you notice the effects, something that sucks to say the least - oh how I wish it was instant. We are here in to help you through this time. Just believe that 5 days in you are 5 days closer to them taking effect. It will happen, stay positive, please xoxo We are here for you xxx

My boy came home early (late last night) - he always does and with him comes a tornado. He never talks about it but I believe it is for many reasons one of which is his father is not accepting of his mi and my son does not feel validated. Something he is working through with his therapist to learn to accept. Heartbreaking. It was not a good night. I don't believe he took his meds but is denying it even though there are not enough gone from pack...so no doubt will be a turmulous few days. It always is sadly. 

Yes my owl painting was from Ebay. It is my third and I am addicted. I have others waiting to do in line. Is this something you might like to do? I highly recommend it. It's easy and it helps to keep my mind busy. I can give you the details if you are interested? Perhaps it is something we can do together with a cuppa? I would love that 🙂

@NatureLover @Eve7 @Zoe7

[WIP]

Thanks for being here for me @Anastasia 

I've got no one, so to have you reply is lovely.

Sorry to hear your boy came home unsettled. I hope it doesn't take too long for him to get back to himself.

if you could share where you got the diamond painting from, I'd appreciate it. It may help distract me from my thoughts etc

Thamks again for being here for me. xx

[WIP]

@Anastasia  I battle with feeling like such a burden on this site. I'm always complaining about how much I'm struggling.

i just contacted the SANE chat service, they helped a little bit, but not really. I'm beyond help. My mind is permanently negative.

[Anastasia]

Pleasure, I am working from home most days so have this open in the background to check in as often as I can xxx

@WIP 

I am so happy you want to try, and delivery is pretty quick, maybe quicker for you as I think they are in Melbourne. See seller's items  qhtaobei02 . I also bought an A4 light pad which was $20 from bestserivceshop (yes their name is speled with a typo haha). This sits underneath the artwork and as I am old and my eyesight is bad It helps to see the numbers and letters better. 

I recommend start with a small one 30 x 30cms to see if you like it. 

I highly recommend watching a you tube clip just as a starting point too - I watched this and it really helped me get started on the right foot 🙂

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?view=detail&mid=F518931CB9F0D23B4706F518931CB9F0D23B4706&shtp=Get...

[Anastasia]

You are NOT a burden, each of us have our times/days/months of struggle, you are not alone @WIP 

that is what we are here for, to support each other. We all understand that there are times when we need support and have none to give. It's ok. The time will come when you are in a better place and will have support to give. So please go easy on yourself, don't feel bad and just keep reaching out...ok?  🙂

  

[WIP]

I care so much about everyone else, other than myself @Anastasia 

I always have care to give.

I wish I could be so kind to myself.

I still feel like a burden.

Thank you @Anastasia - you've been so kind. xx

[Anastasia]

I know that you care @WIP 

I also know that at the moment you have no reserves and that you need to focus on yourself. That's ok, really it is. It happens to everyone and I totally understand. Life is a journey and unfortunately there are hurdles sometimes so big that it almost feels as though you'll never get past them...but you will. From them you will grow so that the next hurdle doesn't quite seem as big. Does that make sense?

I promise you you've got this xxx

Remember your name "Work in progress" - I am that too...hindsight sees me wishing that I had made different choices but it does not help me, in fact it just makes me sad,  so I put it behind me and move on. We have to. We have to live in the NOW, not in the past or the future, just get through today. xoxo 

[WIP]

@Anastasia @NatureLover @Eve7 @BPDSurvivor @Zoe7 

Thanks all for your time, support and replies.

I'm sorry, I just don't think I can do it anymore.