Lived Experience Forum

[SoSad]

Hi

i have anxiety. I was put onto anti-depressants on the weekend after I couldn’t stop crying. After 5 years in a very stressful job, which I have now finished, and my boyfriend ending our relationship, I just reached my limit. I am scared. My brain doesn’t stop thinking. I barely sleep. I just want to pull my brain out just so I can rest. All I think about is my ex and our relationship and things he has said to me since our breakup.

i was suppose to move in with him but he pulled out last minute. Turns out he has deep commitment issues that flared up his anxiety and depression. Instead of talking to me and us resolving it, he ended our relationship. When he told me that the move was messing with his head, I was reasonable and told him that we didn’t have to do it. I was hurt by all of his actions but I understood and was willing to stand by him while he fixed himself up. We agreed to be friends. After he broke up with me, I felt that there were many mixed messages sent my way. Even up to last week there was. So that’s all I have been thinking about. He made it clear that he has commitment issues and is worried about where his headspace goes but he won’t really answer any of my questions either. I was going to suggest some kind of unconventional relationship to him so he doesn’t feel pressure. This whole situation is making my anxiety worse. I haven’t told him that I am anxious, perhaps depressed, and now on anti-depressants. I have gone no contact for the last week but this doesn’t seem to be helping. It has gotten to the point where it is really affecting my life. All I do is stay in bed. Going to the shops is an effort. I can’t eat and I have lost weight. My psych appointment isn’t until mid September. I feel so exhausted and I am not even doing anything. 

Thanks for listening.

[Former-Member]

Yeah it is @SoSad

sorry you are going through that. Breakups hurt like hell but he let you know he wasn’t ready for commitment because of his mental health. Maybe his not in the right frame of mind to be answering questions because he probably has a lot going on...sounds like you are both dependent on each other. Way I see it everything happens for a reason these days. Hope you pull through it and whatever happens you end up happy eventually 

[Pebbles]

Hello @SoSad, welcome to the forums 🙂

I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time with anxiety, maybe depression and a relationship all at once. I really hope that you can find this forum space to be helpful, supportive and a good space to be listened to. 

I can hear that you aren't due to see your psych until later in September have you ever used helplines to assist between sessions? 

Mensline is a helpline service avialable to talk about relatiosnhips

Sane Help Centre is available Monday - Friday 10am -10pm EST to talk about mental illness 

Take care of yourself and keep talking. There are lots of open ears and hearts here that are great listeners.

Kindest,

Pebbles 

[SoSad]

Thank you Messy girl and Pebbles.

Messy girl, he does seem to want to sort his life out. Which I think is wonderful. I’ll just keep being his friend and supporting him from the sideline.

[Former-Member]

That’s good. If you both have mental illness maybe you could support one another through it, as you would know what it feels like with maybe some things @SoSad