Welcome To The Conversation

[MDT]

no problem @StanD
TAke care friend

[StanD]

Hi @Appleblossom 

Thanks. This book looks very interesting. 

I am ok. Happy. Frustrated. Nervous.

I'm desperate & rushing to get somewhere. I'm ready. Things are not right.

And ... I think I know, that when I feel like I no longer have to leave, - not rushed, then I will be there, already .. Perhaps.

You mentioned spiritual emergency. That is what it feels like. 

 

[TAB]

.okay last way off @Former-Member  .this one.................

[Appleblossom]

Lovely to interact with you @MDT as usual.  You have made a difference to me ... as an online friend.

@StanD ... interesting painting.

Egg shaped ...

Somehow we seem to carry contradictions within us ... but some carry more than others ...

Rushing while going nowhere ... is pretty common ... depends on how you look at it.

Dinner Done tonight too ... son out on a walk ... hope he comes back soon.

Take care

[MDT]

I think our 21st century society is struggling with a meaning crisis tbh @Appleblossom @StanD

Look around. We are in a late stage of capitalism and I am spending a majority of my days worrying about meaning and making sure I am meeting some arbitrarily defined version of what "meaning" is. Maybe it is up to me to decide what meaning in my life is. I would hazard a guess here and say that I am on the path to doing so. But who knows in the end ?

Do you know how many times some of my colleagues (who are in their mid 20s btw) worry about silly things? Like what suburbs might be considered ghetto or what cultures have the best food? Some people have no choice where they live, others just eat whatever they can. Life is so unfair and yet I am spending most of my time worrying about living according to other standards that I don't even agree with.

I wonder if you have heard of Slavoj Zizek? His critique of modern capitalism is something to behold.

Honestly all I really want now from life is a balance of challenge (hence why i signed up to a masters knowing there are options to leave without any costs involved if i want) and rest (which is when I get time off in chunks after long stints of working long hour shifts). In between all that I really want is love (Which I have now) and a piece of mind (which I am working on through literature, tv shows or meaning lectures or podcasts).

Is there A meaning to life? I have no idea. People have argued over that for years, decades, centuries. There is meaning IN life if we bother to go and find it.

I used to be so concerned with whether or not people (whomever they were) would like me or not. What a sad existence. But alas, I have grown up now (29) and I have realised that the world is too unfair for me to concerned whether others like me. What is it to even "like" a person? Respect is good. Tolerate is less good. But to "like"? I don't know what that means anymore.

Right now the biggest calamity I am faving is whether i get my shift switch approved by upper management in an already disfunctional workplace with a colleague who possibly overextends himself, but has the respect of everyone, so that I can go to my dads 60th. I reallly really really don't want to miss this 60th. It isn't fair to miss it - especially if my colleague has indicated that he is willing to switch. But who knows, maybe he is just saying things. Maybe he didn't check with his spouse. Maybe it's a joke. This is where my own experience of anxiety can take over and I start to hypothesise about all the negatives..... but i catch myself out and remember how i once thought family christmas would be ruined because i didnt apply for leave when i worked in the public service. It was all okay and christmas was fine that year.

But this time it is different - i feel I am fighting against "the man" per se.

Well.

I think of the guys my age now in Ukraine (and also those in Russia drafted into a war they never wanted). I think of the guys before me in every war, in every dire situation, in every hospital room in the world............. What they are facing now - they have a meaning to go on. They have a country to defend, a life to go back to (In the case of Ukraine) or they just wanna go home (in the case of Russia).

Then I remember myself when I was 15 when we nearly lost my sister. She is with us now. Thanks be to god for that. Then I think of my partner who lost her sister when she was young and was raised by her grandparents. The traumas we face in life are hard to bare, but if we can be thankful for the small bit of hope we have then I think it is worth it.

Live your own life of steadfast, quiet revolution inside your heart and mind. Seek to be truthful and right (objectively so) in all you do. Move away from Cain and move towards Abel. March to the beat of your own drum because at least you will be able to to change the rythm when you want .

[Former-Member]

Hello @Appleblossom I have Anodea Judiths book on chakras called Eastern Body Western Mind.  She was a psychologist then got into eastern mysticism as a way of furthering her healing work. Psychotherapeutics she said serves a purpose but is very limited. After working with chakras you can begin healing your relationships. I know when my chakras are "out" and can sense it in other people.  It also makes you more understanding and tolerant of other people as you can see the reason behind their behavioural patterns 

[StanD]

Thankyou friend, @MDT 

This takes courage in my eyes. I have found that not everyone is receptive, or interested in entering into the depths of thought you showed. Allowed yourself. For me, this would take courage. To be responded to with out care, well, that would hurt me. I would feel I have taken the time to ' pour my soul, my heart out' & the world thought it was not, I was not of value. I think it's good to be ourselves, our core selves, in moments. Say it how it is - as it, I, we, are worth this. It has a purpose too, of 'testing the waters'. The responses I get, it lets me know, exactly where I am, rather than appeasing others perceived expectations of me. And, ... Many ( the majority in my experience) simply do not have the skills, or desire, or structure, to consider, or be involved in philosophising, & questioning, contemplating. To me, this seems surprising. I am learning we are all different, & that is perfectly ok.

This 'meaning of life' it makes me wonder, is it a facet of coping mechanisms?

I'm unsure if I'm projecting my own melancholy, tho, reading your post, I heard a beautiful sadness.

I recently accepted, examined the concept that Love can be sad. There is a gentle peace in sad. 

It is not depression. I think it looks the same from the outside. I think the colleagues you speak of, can interpret this state, of vulnerability, as an 'elephant in the room'. It can make people feel extremely uncomfortable.

What is 'like', What is 'vulnerability'? Words we generally accept we understand the definition of, though, on further contemplation .. I discovered, vulnerability is indeed the foundation of strength.

I like your question. Lots. I'm going to consider it. 

I like tea. I dislike Vegemite. I ate a teaspoon of Vegemite the other day. Face scrunched up, flavour overpowering my tastebuds. I questioned 'do I dislike this?'

I like how you brought us back to the practicalities. 

That, there is a 'force' or element within the life you designed for yourself, (within defined limitations?) .. And this element has within it, a potential to prevent you from the most meaningful, or healthy decision of being with family & your dad's 60 th birthday celebration - ..... how can that be?

Having the worry of whether you can attend, is already an unnecessary burden. 

Life is unfair.

My heart cries too. For the pain & suffering in this world. For people who existed 100 years ago, for those not yet to be born.

In another world. I don't care. All, I want is my own moments of enjoyment. The world doesn't exist. These moments are pure bliss. I want them all the time. I want more. I want to discover more ways to access them. I want all the keys!!

I feel like lately, things have definately gotten tougher, from where we were a few weeks ago. When you wrote about 'the man'. 

How can I best describe it? I feel like, now, I'm having to fight harder. I was not anticipating. Getting here - it took more than all myself (I know this for a fact, because, I have watched myself be carried) I think I was expecting, a kind of plateau. And there is. But, now - as I collect myself, I'm aware of an intensity circling. 

Hmm, I think I have now discovered, at least one possible catalyst for why this is occurring. This battle is now, no longer about surviving.

Interesting.

Back to reality now ... 

In everything you wrote.....

 'I have love' 

Thankyou @MDT 

Hello @Former-Member @TAB @Appleblossom @hanami @Shaz51 

and everyone.

Thanks for reminding me about chakras @Former-Member 100 percent, know this important. And can, of course feel my own chakras, & the benefits. I don't know anywhere enough theory. I know the colours! Thanks for adding pep!

Thankyou again for book idea @Appleblossom Im beginning to like my recent art. It's not 'impressive'. I have made other ones, that people, myself included, instantly impressed by. This one is very raw. Yep, raw egg, me thinks😊

I don't like posting this, but I think it gives good context.

  

I am so proud of this piece. That I could create something so beautiful. It's my most sacred piece. I don't show many people. I know where I was in my head at that time, & had enough experience to know what would give greatest impact, most effective. 20 or 30 creations before this, enabled me to make this one.

The 'egg' Im starting to love it - because it is me.

[Appleblossom]

@StanD 

I did not realise the Egg was your painting.  Great! I saw layers of protection.  I have not done much painting, altho thinking of doing some art therapy ... not sure ....

Thank you for sharing the serene blue cove.  Yes it feels healing.

@Former-Member 

Yes she is a worthwhile writer.  Lots to ponder.  Contemplation of chakras has helped me stay alive.  I think my system was so overwhelmed for so long, I really needed it as a guide through all the fads and beliefs and shoulds and dramas in life.  Hugs.

@MDT 

Not been a big fan of capitalism ever ... I respect small business owners and genuine innovation and vision and effort.  Money as only motivating force turns me off.  There are ways of being viable without going money mad.Treating people as cogs in a machine is not going to bring out the bst in them. 

Yep, Meaning is a good word, but what does it mean ...???  Maybe that is part of the seeking impulse so many of us feel.

This morning I had to drive son to an industrial estate.  It was full of factories, real estate offices, pressure education businesses, and a kindergarten was opposite the hotel and casino ...Did not seem to be the best in town planning to me!

[MDT]

Put the pubs where the workers are
Put the churches where the corporates are

Maybe haha?

Agreed re small businesses and innovation. That's where the real soul is I think. @Appleblossom

[MDT]

@StanD

Thanks for your well thought out response.

Many do not even wish to wade into the water of going deep (as it were). Even the dampest experience makes some think they will drown. They have an aversion to deepness. I recall a chat a friend and I had about religion at the age of 21 and another friend present said "that was deep". It actually wasn't. It was a sign however that the third person present didn't do much self reflection.

Never shouod we appease arbitrary constructed expectations of others. Until I hear what the expectations are, or get pointed to where they are written down, then and only then will I know what is expected of me. I recall a recurring dream I had for a long time about the high school music teacher. He was quite demanding and I never seemed to impress him enough. I recall one time I asked if I needed to do music exams (AMEB). He said it was expected of us as students. Not yes or no. No direct answers. He had an ego the size of a dictatorship... later I found out that he cheated on his partner. Great Christian school vibes there hey?

Vulnerability is a source strength when we do it for the right reasons and not for people to like us. But then again, if it was true Vulnerability then we wouldn't be concerned if people liked us or not. Who knows aye?

Well my friend your post has got me thinking for my work day. I do appreciate it. I'll be back later today I hope during my lunch break.

I have a project day today for work - usually another way of saying "gotta look busy"

See you round