Christian Chat

[ENKELI]

@heartathome I really enjoyed today's reading, the reminder to pray first before acting was very timely for me.

Thanks again for your post xo

[AuntGlow]

Checking in on you and how things have been feeling @ENKELI. I can see this week has been tough? 💛

I wanted to share something with you all too! I was performing in a show this past week and there was an old chapel nearby, so I went in to do some vocal runs before going on stage. It was really lovely practicing singing in that space and reminded me of growing up singing in church. I thought you might appreciate this. @Appleblossom @heartathome @Realness @DownMoreThanUp @tyme 🫶

[AuntGlow]

Hey @DownMoreThanUp,

I am so sorry to hear that you're feeling like things need to end in your relationship... it sounds like you're not able to meet each others' needs right now and that can be such a painful place to be in when you love someone. I am curious to know what led you to this decision and if you have decided against couples counselling?

It sounds to me like you're really needing your anger and hurt to feel heard and held with her, is that right? 💛

[ENKELI]

@AuntGlow hey lovely. Today has not been great, I am on the tail end of a head cold but aside from that I am plodding along as usual. I have to knuckle down and get my studies up to date.

There is something so special about the old chapels. My mums' church is a lovely old chapel, heritage listed. I would have got married there if my engagement hadn't ended.

There is such a beautiful ambience in the older buildings.

[DownMoreThanUp]

@AuntGlow it is that i am not allow to express my hurt. When i did she ran off, like she always does, when i do hurt my side of our story.  (i did get emotional for the counsellor pushed the issue my hrt but not angry or anything. for me was she refused to reconnect the moments her hurt, and cancelled counselling  me protesting the direction this was taking. Every time my hurt comes up i did not push it i was asked.

So i realised it wasn't ever going to work like this and i told her this. That is wants me to work on my anger issues fair enough, i have for years, and not been angry since she left. Yet she has cut of every week more her love and good will. 

@ENKELI @heartathome @tyme @Realness 

Lost hope to be honest. i do not think there is space for me in this relationship as it is and when i ask for it it is denied. i do not really understand why. I'm not told. Asked plenty but not allowed to do that either.

Not that i do not love her. Not even thinking she does not love me. But we keep hurting each other as we are.

My beloved wife has become my constant heart ache, confusion, anxiety and sleepless nights overnight hence we need to break that pattern.

Sad but true. Very glad Jesus has been with me and i can keep depression and psychosis at bay or i be at total loss otherwise. Learning to deal with my states faster than ever. Often been out of shear need for survival. 

(True song about the voice as her in my love for her in my worst overcome states lately. Never thought it possible i would live our love like that her absence and silence.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oia17ywlkos