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Hello Everyone 
I've been away for 4 days, 2 at my Daughters & 2 at my Sisters. It was exhausting, good but exhausting. The average person seems to have so many appointments, things to do & people to see on a daily basis. My head just can't keep up, never loan my body! The scans were clear apart from the fact that the nodes under my other arm are affected too, so I think it may be the Doctor that'll suggest a double mastectomy, I may not have to fight for that after all. I really think the best place for me to recover would be at home, just my anxiety hurts my body, I contract all my muscles, especially those around my neck, shoulders & chest when it kicks in - & it kicks in whenever I'm away from home. I can't just let them go, if I could I would have done so years ago . . . my anxiety is giving me more anxiety about recovering. The first week or 2 I will have to go to my Sisters as I won't be able to use my arms much, but she's talking 6 weeks & there's just no way I'd survive 6. Besides that fact, it will cost about $250 a week to board my puppies & we've never been apart that long before {more anxiety}. It's great to have my Daughter & Sister back in my life, but the fact is I choose to be alone even though it's lonely, it's the only time I can relax. So I have 4 days to just be at home alone, then on the 21st I'll go back to the Doctor, I'm assuming to book in for surgery; then I'll be stuck in hospital for a few days to a week, where you have to leave the entire hospital grounds for a smoke. More anxiety, recovering from a pretty big surgery, whilst withdrawing from a powerfully addictive drug! Then I'll go to my Sisters, where there's no smoking in the house, I suppose it'll get me out of bed & out on the back deck as often as I can ?!? It felt good to get back home this trip, it's going to feel surreal when I return again after all that!!! The positive thing in all this, is I am imagining returning to my quiet life, with enough connections to give me the little bumps I need to combat the lonliness 😉 The heads really going to swirl for a while, as if it hasn't been doing that already. Let the blur continue.
Love to all that need or want it
My adult child had a double mastectomy on Thursday so I've some idea of what you're facing. And I have faith you'll get through it.
Sending my warmest wishes xx
Hello @eth ,
I hope your adult child is recovering well. I'm sorry they needed that operation. Were the nodes on both sides affected for them too? My Sister & Daughter seem to think they won't take both; I don't understand why not. Why take one when the nodes on both are affected? Though my Daughter has already said, we can go to other public hospitals & ask other surgeons. I'm hoping I won't need to, that my logic isn't that flawed. The thought of having to fight for the right to have the surgery I chose, when I really don't want any surgery at all, is mind boggling!
Sending healing for your adult child & love to you
Hello Sweet @greenpea 🙂
I don't have any plans for someone to check on me once I get home, but that'll be a couple of weeks after surgery. My Sister has mentioned taking another week off & staying, just until she's sure I'm able to 'take care' of myself. I'll be ok, there's also a community health place that might check if neccessary? If I can't drive, which I'm kinda thinking I might not be able to, I'll ask my Sister & Daughter if they can pop back in a couple more weeks . . . & they both ring me, my Daughter every night, these days 🙂 Thank you for 'checking in' on me, you really are a 'Sweet Pea'
