Living with Ourselves

[Sophia1]

Hello @Jacques 

Sorry that I missed you this morning.

I have had a very hectic two days.

Medical Appointments where people do not listen and I have to keep on explaining myself.

So frustrating and upsetting..

I am still recovering from side effects of 2nd pfizer vaccination.

I have written a card to my mum and still have not posted it would you believe. About two weeks at least now I think.

I agree with what you said about keeping in touch with her.

I really do want to as I miss her very much.

I miss the mum who was kind to me at times and I know loved me in her way. 

I even miss my sister who was kind to me at times in her way and not very nice at all too many times.

I am  a forgiving person....

I do not hold grudges...I have to not let people take advantage of this though..try to control me or change me...not accept me as I am.. As this has been a huge part of my struggles with the health of my mind..

My older son is not sounding at all well on the phone again...I am very worried about him yet can do little...

His illness makes him defensive, mistrusting, unapproachable and impossible to have a conversation with.  I cannot speak at all ..He tells me to shut up and listen....I stay on the phone for a while then if try to say need to go...get told off again and I just have to hang up...It hurts so much...It is what it is... He believes that it is everyone else...that he is well just stressed because he cannot trust anyone and feels that himself and family are being persecuted and our lives are at risk..

Younger son...well...enjoying work...home...just wants to meet a female who is not fake, does not wear too much makeup, the less the better and can have a conversation...laugh..have fun...enjoy life...

I reassure him that it will happen when he is not expecting it to...life is like that...

how is everything with you? is your girlfriend feeling better and your mum?

My cat's name I will tell you when you are online at the same time as me then I can quickly delete it...It is unusual therefore could risk my identity privacy situation..

I have not been in the garden for a few days due to blasted vaccination. 

I might go out there for a few minutes now and water some pots...then come in and rest.

I am so tired still..

Are you sleeping well?

Looking forward to hearing from you when you can as always..

hugs my friend

sunshine Jacques

💛

[Sophia1]

Hello @Adge 

How are you feeling my dear friend.

I am sorry that it has taken nearly a week to respond.

I have been unwell and had draining experiences with medical appointments...something that I know you are only too familiar with..

It is beyond me that I have to spend so much time trying to explain myself....repeatedly asking questions when I am paying the business for that very service...Ask me questions to ensure that I understand...

Seriously it is logical isnt it..

I am venting....venting with you Adge with all of the rubbish that you have had to put up with  as well..

Let's just vent and let it all out...

their negative energy not ours...

Let's send it straight back to them...

Visualise that...

Similar to writing on an envelope return to  sender....only far far more intense...

Talk to those birds who listen to you and bring you much joy. Call them each by name....ask them how their day has been....have they enjoyed their food especially prepared by you their loving owner...

I talk to my puddytat all of the time.

Remember to congratulate yourself on all the hard work that you have done Adge...all that you have achieved...

Let go of all of the incompetent...disorganised...futile....waste of time....other stuff...

Take care my friend..

sending you hugs and sunshine

💛💛Sophia

[Sophia1]

Hello @Former-Member 

This is my safe place ....

This is where you will often find me..

I do not feel as vulnerable here..

I do not feel safe in many parts of the forum....

How about you? Do you have a safe place?

Thank you for picking up that I was feeling vulnerable as well..

[Former-Member]

I understand @Sophia1 I also don't like that people can't message privately. Not sure why. What's happening?

[Sophia1]

Hello @Appleblossom 

That is wonderful news about a course that you have enrolled in and local what a win...

Your son spending time with friends would be a great moment of joy and pride for you..

You have done well through everything even though at times it might not have felt that way...

You are persistent the same as I am...

I wish you all the best my dear friend as you deserve so much and far more..

write only when you can...

enjoy this next chapter in your life opening up all new experiences and opportunities as well as further self-fulfilmment.

love Sophia

💜

[Sophia1]

Just everything @Former-Member 

Just my life...

I am overtired....

still  recovering from dreadful flu like symptoms and head pain reaction to 2nd pfizer vaccination which really knocked me around..

Then more medical appointments...

blah blah blah

when I am drained I am extra sensitive and vulnerable....one would not think that could be possible..

less about me

how are you?

[Former-Member]

Sorry that you're feeling low. I'm sensitive as well and try to be careful what I say on here. @Sophia1 
Hmm, was going to say some things, but it's best I don't. 

Yes, blah blah blah. I know what you mean. 
But it's ok to say how you feel. 

[Sophia1]

what were you going to  say 

have i stopped you?

[Former-Member]

Not at all @Sophia1 

[Former-Member]

I just find it difficult being honest on the forums @Sophia1