Just checking in.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Spookytookims

Just checking in. I know things haven't been very smooth sailing for you. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you're ok. 

[Owlunar]

Aw - I so love that pic - could anything be cuter?

Dec

[soul]

Dunno, but this is pretty cute.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Image hasn't come through yet @soul .... but I'm adding this ...

[CheerBear]

Hi @Spookytookims.

I've been thinking about you a lot this weekend. I'm feeling tired and kind of emotional so I'm sorry if what I write doesn't come across the way I intend or it makes things harder for you. I'm writing to you only with the hope that it makes things better for you not worse. I really hope it's not wrong of me to post to you, to post this, or to have this conversation here. I'm finding it tricky to work out what's right and wrong everywhere.

From where I am, it appears that what I thought was giving you space, you thought was pushing you out and I am sorry that I wasn't able to work this through with you in a way that was ok for both of us. I know I was in the wrong headspace for me to be able to communicate with you at the time without having my emotions completely cloud the words I would say or the way I might interpret what you may have said. I read a number of times that you are able to see things very clearly and I while I feel somewhat envious that you have appear to have such clarity and self-assurance, I do not and particularly not at the moment. It's who I am and the way I view the world and it's in full swing while I work my stuff out. I felt that trying to work through what was happening/had happened would not have a positive outcome given how differently we both saw the situation so I thought it best to leave it be. I'm understanding that perhaps this wasn't the way you would have preferred it be and I'm sorry I was unable to offer you an outcome you may have been more comfortable with.

I feel very sad to think that you might be feeling left out or unable to be here, particularly if that is a large part due to me, and I would like to try to work out a way we can both be comfortable here if you're interested in doing that. If you're not wanting to do that I understand this as well.

I very much enjoyed the time we spent together here. I loved having a laugh with you and enjoyed chatting about lots of different things with you. I felt very cared for by you while I was in a huge mess and I really appreciate the time you spent with me trying to help me work through it. If you do return I also understand that you may not want to communicate with me at all, or that you may only want to communicate with me about certain things.

I respect that it may be better for you to disregard some/all of what I have said, so I plan to be lead by you here and will leave this alone now unless you want to work through it some more. I'm asking that if you want to work it out though, that you please try to understand that the rollercoaster called my life, sometimes doesn't allow me to communicate in a way I'd like, or at a time that works best for others. I am also very sensitive and although I can try to remain aware of that and the way may influence my thinking, it would be helpful if you're able to try to be gentle if/when this conversation happens.

I'm feeling very nervous about posting this and hope this hasn't made anything worse and that this is the right thing to do. More than that though I really hope you are ok wherever you are.

[Former-Member]

Who's  being very braves now @CheerBear. Kudos to you 😘💜🤗💐

[Former-Member]

Hi @oceangirl, @Former-Member, @eth

Im dropping in to say hi. I've missed you all lately as we haven't crossed paths much. I've found posting really quite difficult for some strange reason and for the last few months have kept getting tied up in nots but I think of you often.

im so glad hospital helped @oceangirl. I think for a while it would have helped me to be able to go to a good private hospital too to get some structure and support back in my life. I'm so glad it's helped you. I think we are similar with this. Are you still going to Hawaii in the middle of the year? It's creeping up now. Are you finding you are getting more enjoyment out of your volunteering and other things. 

Hey @Former-Member,

whats been happening with you. I think the work contract ended, are you working now? I've been following some of your posts on DID and so glad you caught up with Briar, who is brilliant and will help with questions you may have too. What's been happening in your world? Funnily lots of science things I've read lately always remind me of you. I follow a few more mainstream science threads on Facebook like IFL science. 

Hi @eth,

ive been thinking of you too. I'm wondering how the ndis application is going. I hope you are still finding it lovely living with your brother. Have you ventured out more now? 

I am feeling like I'm living a paradox at the moment. On one hand I know I've come a long way and have more control and understanding, whilst on the other I'm feeling the most out of control and suicidal I've been. It seems to be affecting everything I do including being on the forum. 

I have a new psychiatrist who I like and have been accepted into DBT which are steps forward. Unfortunately my GP is very heavily pregnant and I have my last appointment with her today, however, I'm lucky as I already have a replacement GP sorted who is lovely. 

Well I hope this finds you all feeling ok. Looking forward to hearing back from you. 

hugs 💜🤗💐

[Former-Member]

Hello Forumites ☕,
just checking in 👋
Beautiful 🌞 kicking off here 👍 🍁
cheers 💹

[oceangirl]

Morning @Former-Member 

I was just thinking of you too- so happy you posted. I have been struggling of late to post too. Yep I am off to Hawaii mid way through the year- I never thought the time would come around for me to head off. I think the last count it is about 74 days to go. I am also heading back down south in about three weeks time for about 6 days and after this it will be six weeks until Hawaii. My baby (Kira) is doing well too and just going to get her some food. I wouldn't say I am enjoying the zoo any more atm but I do know it is good for me and it is giving me some direction and purpose. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have decided to give myself a chance and to follow the recommendations from the hospital.

I hope you are moving forward and how is your tafe course? Thinking of you too and sending you positive vibes your way. Keep going x

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, rest up today, recharge your heart battery 🌸