Lived Experience Forum

[shellb]

hi i have bipolar/schitzophrenia my bipolar is on the high side more so than the depressive side I have noticed that because of me being on the high side of things i struggle to keep my emotions under control and it is when i allow myself the luxury of feeling things even the smallest i feel myself going to that place of mania so i have isolated myself from everything and everyone because my emotions are a huge contributing factor to me becomoing manic and im so scared of becoming manic that i now live my life null and void of emotions things i should be happy about i cant entertain the idea because the happier you are from something the bigger the issue if something goes wrong and i hate that i live with this constant feeling of impending doom but life experiences have brought me to living this way and is there anyone else that has simular feeling or am i alone is there is can you give me some ideas as to how you cope or stragies on how to cope cuz living this way being numb is not working for me

[Lunar]

Hello @shellb,

A very warm welcome to the forums from myself, it's nice to meet you 🙂

It seems like you are in a really challenging place of wanting to feel some positive emotions but you have learned that when you feel those you tend to start feeling manic so in order to cope you shut off from those positive feelings which then continues that feeling of constant numbness, that all sounds really difficult and a lot to manage on your own.

I am wondering whether you are able to find ways of still experiencing pleasure but having some control over when that becomes mania, are you currently getting support for this through a counsellor or psychologist at all?

Lunar

[NikNik]

Hi @shellb

I would like to echo @Lunar 's welcome 🙂

You have come to the right place. You are definitely not alone in what you're going through.

@redhead reached out for some advice here , with some great responses from @kenny66 and @kristin

Another discussion about mania you might find interesting is this discussion started by @eth , with interesting responses from @kato , @chemonro and other Forum members. 

We also ran a Topic Tuesday about mania, which you can find here

Do any other members have tips or advice for shellb?