Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

So, the mods might remove this post.... but I've been in a bad mood all day (annoying everyone) and I too am riding waves of SH urges and frankly nothing works to get rid of them, only to take the edge off. I contacted lifeline twice in the last week and they were as useful as a punch in the face.

So I was wondering, Sane Forumites, if you have had urges to SH can you explain the why behind the urges and what you did that helped? And how you did it?

For example I need to feel pain and punish myself and tonight I got some advice to move my body - so I've done 300 sit ups. It f-ing hurt and I feel a bit better. 

Intellectually I'm wondering if there are different things that help for different types of urges.

And I think I've come to the realisation that therapy is probably the only way this is going to go away permanently, although hospital went on about mindfulness a lot.

I hate mindfulness. 

Oh, and I got my ECG stuff explained to me by a doctor friend. Feel much better about it. 

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member,

Thanks for putting a trigger warning in the heading of the thread 🙂 I won't remove the post because I think it's a great topic... Opening up a conversation about different ways to manage the urge to self-harm is a great idea. Thank you for starting the thread!

I'm totally on board with your comments regarding mindfulness- I find it REALLY CHALLENGING to do!! Having said that.. after I sit down and do mindfulness I usually feel better haha. That's usually the way it goes though right, the hardest things are usually the best for us?

Also just want to make a quick note for those who will be participating on this thread- keep in mind the Forum Guidelines and make sure when discussing different ways to manage the urge to self-harm, you are not disclosing methods of self-harm or other types of graphic language/content that could distress other members.

[CherryBomb]

I agree with @Former-Member, this is a good topic discuss that others might find useful too. My understanding is that that self harm urges generally arise when emotional pain is so strong that physical pain can be a release.

I'm going to tag some people who might be able to give some pointers here on how to manage self harm urges.

@Jacques @Former-Member and @BlueBay   have had discussions about managing self-harm in various places on the Forums. I wonder if they can add something to this discussion, or tag other people who might have some idea. 

You might want to check out this thread by @kattytee about self-harm.

@Crazy_Bug_Lady started this wonderful thread, 'coping box', which has some great idea about how to manage to the urges to SH.

CB

[Former-Member]

hi @Former-Member

i have some of the same feelings. i keep being told to move and exercise as well. or use rubber band to flick or hold ice... its not the same though. i do find if im exercising more regularly it helps (but it helps my overall stuff..)

well done for trying the exercise, 

i didnt see this post when you wrote it. but it is a great topic, so glad that you shared.

lj

[BlueBay]

@CherryBomb this is a good post.
I have recently had SH urges and the last two weeks have been bad.
Two weeks ago I was talking to lifeline and the next thing an ambulance turned up and I was taken to hospital.
Last week agsin I was ready to SH but called the CAT team who then rang over weekend to check on me and made an appt to see their own psych.
For me I find meditation hard but I can do distraction skills eg water garden or listen to soft relaxing music while laying down on my yoga mat.
SH urges vary for me. I sometimes dissociate when in my own world.
My new psychologist has suggested I have a "mental health tool kit" to use when SH is kn my mind. But agsin hard to do. It just takes time and practice.

[Former-Member]

Thanks for starting this topic. I have been wondering how to deal with urges myself as they seem much more irratic and spontaneous for me than my SI.

I have a SI prevention plan that I use and update from time to time and I wonder if I should just sit down and try something for the SH. Has anyone done this before?

What worries we more is that my SH is visible and I cannot pinpoint why I have recently started with some more visible options.

I wonder if it's a cry for help to the medical profession or a sign to outsiders that I am HURTING inside. People know about my invisible illness, i just don't know.

[Former-Member]

Anyway I really feel f* in the head for doing this.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Flower, 

I've heard of a SI prevention plan before, but I'm not really sure what it is exactly.

I know I only get SH urges when I'm depressed and that it's linked up to my negative feelings about myself. I deliberately do it on a non visible portion of my body, and also it's related to SI urges and the urge to end my life, so that also determines the location as it's based on my method of S that I would do (I'm not sure that makes sense without me going into detail). But I'm not sure why I feel the urge to SH and other people don't. I wish I did. I'm trying to work that out myself. 

Do you have a good medical professional that you see regularly? It might help if you have someone you can talk to regularly about how you're feeling? 

And you're not f'ed in the head, or if you are, we all are! Sending hugs and support. We're all in this together. 

[-Rayne-]

We've self harmed for more than 30 years. Definitely we've used different methods for different reasons and therefore needed different solutions. It really annoys us that professionals still think it's all the same. Their understanding, IMO, is better than it was 20 years ago, but only marginally. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @-Rayne-,
Thanks for your reply. Can I ask what your solutions were? If you don't mind replying?
I think my *episode* has passed, but I'd love to know what others do so that when it happens again I have a list of things up my sleeve.