Lived Experience Forum

[Blue13]

About 2 years ago me and my partner went through something, 

im not going to get into full detail but

he was speaking to some people and hiding it from me because he felt ashamed. He was sharing photos and what not ( I’m sure you know what of )

, he was doing this due to self image, not feeling good enough etc. 

unfortunately he said back then that I was scary to talk to about these things and he felt like he couldn’t open up to me. And to me is honestly understandable. I went and found all this out myself which was unfortunate and lead to a lot of different issues between us one being big trust issues on my head. It was a hard decision to stay and put in the hard yards but it’s been two years now and he really has changed, we are really open with eachother and what goes on. ( we have had lots of energy and therapy together for this ) 

I know how far he has come, 

he gets sick at the thought of everything he did and put me and himself through, and when he speaks his so much more mature in that area. 

nevertheless 

there’s days where I have flashbacks and think man, how dare he? 
( not trying to cause any anger or resentment because so much has passed ) and I just cannot believe it until it passes again. 

does anyone have any advice towards these feelings and thoughts ? 
and how to make it not happen I guess? 

Maybe im trying to state the impossible 😅

[PositivePolly]

I can here, exactly your delema and frustration, it's a constant battle between the heart and the head.

The challenge l here from you, and l am experiencing something very similar, is we know the progress and investment physically and emotionally that has been invested from both sides to over come certain issues. The question is do you want to continue, and if so at what price of your own wellbeing can you except the choice that you make. Being a partner of a Bipolar disorder, has so many levels.

[Jasper_123]

Hi @Blue13 , 

We all have these feelings crop up about different events in our lives or different triggers. Try sitting with that feeling when it comes up and letting it pass by. The past doesn't have a hold over you anymore, you and your partner have done the hard work and stood by each other.