Life can be a Pain

[MDT]

Hey @Owlunar
I don't know what to say my friend, thanks for updating though. I really appreciate you keeping me in this loop

[Owlunar]

I understand @MDT 

It is often hard to know what to say when something is going through tough yard

I will keep you in the loop - when I do the loop - I was too tired yesterday - 

Thanks though - I appreciate your support

Dec

[Shaz51]

very understandable that you are feeling soo tired my second mum @Owlunar 

your daughter knows you are there for her always and it was lovely to send flowers 

what a year it has been already , sendig you tender hugs 

it is hard not knowing what to do or what we can do at the moment 

my mum is worried about me ( she says she is not worried but concerned ) and my aunty ( mum's sister says " it is called worry "

a little while back it all caught up with mum and she went at mr shaz telling him to let me retire , mr shaz fled , but all is good again , fingers crossed that it won't come up again 

bankoc roses

this bush is in mum's front yard 

[Maggie]

@Owlunar  I think that helpless feeling is one of the worst. We are wired to help I think.

I really am sorry this is happening, right in the middle of lockdown and restrictions. That makes it worse.

I hope you get in to see your daughter next week, it will at least help you feel you can do something for both of you.

2021 has to be an improvement, it just has to be.

Sending lots of 💕💕💕

[Anastasia]

Dear @Owlunar 

My heart breaks for what you are going through...your beautiful daughter.

I hear what you are saying and how you are feeling my friend. I don't have the opportunity to write a lot at present but please know I am sitting with you, always thinking of you and praying for the best outcome for all of you. Thank you for keeping me in the loop, I understand at times it is too much to even "have a loop", that's ok too. We are here for you 💙💚💜❤️💛

[Emelia8]

Dear @Owlunar  ... really good to hear that you have had the chance to speak to your daughter yesterday.  There is some good news amongst it all I see ... with the bone scan showing no cancer, fractures or osteoporosis.  That is important.  Its a damned shame though about the disc degeneration and the luck of the draw when it comes to genetics and what we each give and get from it all. Nothing we can do about it of course. Back problems were a curse for my poor Mum too for as long as I can remember. And she also had rheumatoid arthritis from when she was about 40 that I can recall. Her Dad had it too, so its definitely one of those genetic gifts which go down through the lines.  I suspect I may also have RA, although the blood tests do not show that to be the case.  Sometimes they dont though, and I certainly have most of the other symptoms of the disorder.  Thankfully nowhere near as bad as what my Mum had it, or my Granddad.  My Mums poor hands were so twisted up and knotted that she had very little practical use of them as she got older.  Her knees and shoulders were also pretty bad.  But I have digressed down the genetics line.  Back to the point Emelia!

I have no doubt that you would be feeling very drained Dec.  Its totally understandable.  You had your own hospitalisation not so long ago, and all the pain and suffering which put you there in the first place.  You have been seriously concerned about your daughters situation for some weeks or more now.  And add in the fact that the lockdown in Melbourne has gone on .. and on ... and on ... it all takes a big toll Dec. And to feel helpless to do anything is such a draining feeling.  

At least you got to talk to her and I hope that was reassuring for you, to some extent.  Also glad you were able to send flowers.  I'm sure she loved them.  Gee I really hope you are able to get in to see your daughter in hospital this week.  Lean heavily on the staff and see what you can do.  I'm sure they understand a Mums need to see her daughter.  The Coronavirus is so much better now that it was, with only a dozen or so new cases each day.  When it comes down to it ... you are probably more likely to pick up the virus in a supermarket as you are in a hospital.

Yes you do sound unhappy ... and that makes me sad.  But you have had a lot of unhappiness in your life, and I have every confidence that things well improve again soon.  Nothing lasts forever .. hopefully not even the coronavirus pandemic!  Its been a really bad year for so many, not the least ... for you.

Oh yes please Dec ... do take very good care of you.  I so very much value you as an online friend, as a confidant, and as my pep-talker.  You really are that wise owl and you know just how to put things into perspective and make me stop feeling so sorry for myself.  You seem to know just how to relate to me when I most need it, and to maintain that vital connection with humanity. Thanks so much for that.

I think I'm rambling.  My brain feels scrambled.  Best leave it there I think.

Much love to you Dec.

Emelia 💕😊

[Owlunar]

@Emelia8 

Hi Em 

You are a very sensitive person and very wise too - and I have found your posts to be very supportive and I am so glad you are here - thanks for your message above - it means so much to me

You have a great deal of understanding regarding the genetic issues here - not that I am beating myself up about what she has inherited from me and my family - she has inherited many talents as well - I should never lose sight of that

Today I am exhausted - I have persistent muscle aches between my shoulder blades which happens when I have stress - we can hold things in our mind and tell ourselves that we can cope with this but it still has repercussion in our soul - my daughter is so precious to me - the loss of one child enhances the value of the one/ones left behind. I feel very helpless as well - today I feel too tired to visit even if it were an easy trip - I was in the same ward as she is when I was in that hospital during the winter when the lock-down was about to increase and I hadn't taken in anything to read so I read the newspapers that were available every day - and the amount of new cases sky-rocketted and this was not my favourite idea - 

I  am having a slow day today - my main chores for today were breakfast and cleaning my teeth - both ticked off - and I have my social call by Telehealth today - this is good. Time will pass and I will feel better. One good thing is the better conversations I am having with my daughter - maybe this time and the circumstances of her life are giving her insight into how my life with chronic pain has been and I am praying and hoping she doesn't develop chronic pain from this herself, Oh God - I am praying about this

Other news - she has quit smoking for several weeks now - so this is a good thing - a really good thing - her husband quit after his open heart surgery last year and one of his sons quit when his first child was born - it can be done. Thank God for that

Also - I posted that letter to Miss Yakkety Yak on Friday and after thinking about it I blocked her phone number. I hated having to do this kind of thing - I have had to shut people - even my mother and sister - from my life because of the toxic nature of the relationship and sometimes it is necessary to get on with our own lives - relationships must go both ways and when one is draining the other - it's not good

Thanks for your support Em - and also everyone else

@Anastasia @Maggie @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @greenpea @MDT 

Dec

[greenpea]

@Owlunar  Love to you Dec . You are a kind and caring soul. Thinking of you today. Love peaxxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Owlunar 

[Anastasia]

🤗❣️💜💞🌷💐 @Owlunar xxx