Lived Experience Forum

[Flower88]

I have bad anxiety and panic attacks, I'm quite open about it which now I'm regretting slightly, I feel like since this has all happened to me everyone seems to have disappeared out of my life and family I was one close to have drifted away from me. I'm only 28 and feel very isolated. I also deal with chronic dizziness which is leading me to a lot of specialists and is putting me in debt. having anxiety is so iscolating, I also get the feeling everyone in my team at work does not like me they treat me different and will have a conversation with each other but not really with me. I can't seem to hold onto friendships for long before other person seems to get annoyed with me and disappear. And now I have got to a point where I push people away as it hurts too much to feel rejected.

[suzanne]

Hi @Flower88, anxiety certainly is isolating and I'm sorry to read that you feel so alone right now.  Your post had a good description of one of the ways this happens - we start to feel distrusting of others and a little paranoid - which is happening with your collegues.  It's important to try to challenge those thoughts rather than taking them as facts.  I hope you're getting some professional support to help you with this.  

I did a quick search for other relevent threads for you and came across an earlier one from yourself which shows that you've been dealing with the feeling of separation from your family for a while.  Having been close to your family in the past, is it possible to start to rebuild those relationships now?  I wonder what that would take?  Or what gets in the way?

[Former-Member]

Hi Flower88, I'm guessing your 'family' is dysfunctional or even toxic (like mine) or you wouldn't be in this situation. Not everything is in our head (I suffer depression + anxiety too) although 'blackdog' shire has a knack for looking at 'worst case scenario creating an avelanche of destructive self fulfilling prophecy to our life - the 'law of attraction' and all that.

The 2 things that have helped me most in breaking the cycle is

1. taking 'time out' daily to consciously make your mind focus on other more things. For 5or10 min, using all five sences, notice detail in your immediate surroundings, without judgement. Use deep and rhythmic breathing and keep bringing your mind back to the present moment focus. This is one of many 'mindfulness' meditations I find easy to do 2 or 3 times a day.

2. Self Compassion. Having a loving relationship with yourself. Being kind to you. Become your very own best friend. This is about not beating yourself up over things, not putting yourself down, not letting people use or abuse you, walking away from toxic environments... But most of all what you believe about yourself - being comfortable in your own skin, self caring and nurturing you.
For me this helps soothe emotional pain, feed my soul - strengthens me, and it doesnt matter so much what otherbpeople are doing then, mysteriously disempowering the bullies.

Hope this helps.

[utopia]

@Flower88. I'm sorry you are feeling so isolated from others around you. It's an awful feeling to not feel part of a group or feel excluded or judged.
I agree with what @Former-Member (love your ying/yang picture) said, especially about self compassion.
Often with depression - we have so much negative talk going on inside our head. So It's important to take the time and effort to do things you enjoy and to talk to yourself nicely.
We often have spent years talking negatively. So ot takes practice to start talking positively.