Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[silhouette]

@Former-Member, thanks for the tip. I kinda learned this. My sis has a friend who's family are intetstate and couldnt visit her= but neither did her 2 adult kids, the whole sixweek stay (when my sis in) - it crushed her, we talked a few times - she said she had no reason to live because nobody really loved her. She felt she was a burden to her family and the taxpayer... She got out but only lasted a year poor soul. That was a crisis te for my sis, to lose a friend, i was told to leep a VERY close eye on her then as it can cause a chain reaction with friends or something.

Sometimes i wish i could go away for a month, get away from the fear of death. Who needs it. Oh no, did i say that out loud. But i don't - I care too much and have my job...

[Former-Member]

I don't think you are being defeatist @silhouette, rather a realist and that reality is our loved ones do have conditions that are terminal by way of self harm if not adequately treated (and sadly sometimes at times even if they are).

I certainly needed the wake up call that one pdoc gave me to 'look things up' and I thank God he did. Having some understanding made a heck of a difference. Just as you can live well in spite of asthma, I learned we can live well in spite of Mr D's mental illness. (Don't know Mr D has quite reached that conclusion yet..)

[Faith-and-Hope]

@silhouette ....I have tagged you from the Carers Hint and Tips thread, but linking it here too for anyone else reading this thread who might want to visit.

When I first contacted eat8ng disorder support services, that was one of the first things said to me @Former-Member ..... learn as much as you can, because you need to understand what this thing is, how it thinks, what it does .... fore-warned is fore-armed .... and that message was repeated everywhere within this particular support industry, time and again.  

I am so glad it is ..... because it’s a labyrinth otherwise.

[Dots]

My daughter sees her psyche and is functioning pretty well....touch wood. I spent the weekend away visiting friends and family and that was so great. Left my daughter at home with her dad and brother. What a relief to have a few days away. I took a deep breath before I opened the door on my return and felt the angst and worry return. But I have to keep realising that I can't change her. I can only love and respond. We're doing ok, and in my books, "ok" and "boring" are aspirational.

[Faith-and-Hope]

So glad to hear you managed some time-out @Dots .....

[Determined]

@Dots trust things continue to go ok for you and your family.

[Former-Member]

When suicide is a possibility you cannot be there 24/7.  MY advice is 

get her into a safe place immediately, someplace like a respite center 

or a  psychiatric hospital or a behavior health ward of an acute care hospital in

a major metro area.

[dideoh]

Since my daughter's first attempt in April last year, I have been excluded from any information regarding her welfare and treatment because of "confidentiality". She is nearly 40 but she is still my daughter who is extremely ill yet I cannot be told anything. She believes that I am a terrible mother who does not respect her or show her love and caring therefore I am banned from any information. Any attempt I make to explain my side of a situation is always met with rejection. I finally found out from her today who see is seeing and that her psychologist has suggested that I must be autistic because I am such an uncaring unempathic mother. I don't whether to be relieved or appalled that she is receiving some counselling.

[Dots]

Thanks @Determined for keeping in touch. Things are still going ok. I worry so much about her future. How she's going to earn money. Support herself. She is still trying to finish her year 12, for the third time. This is the furthest she's got. And we are really hoping she will finish. I've been meditating but some days, and I know everyone on this forum would agree, the worry creeps up. Tonight I can't sleep. Good  luck everyone  with tomorrow. May we have the collective energy to support, find humour and joy. 

Thanks for listening x

[Dots]

Hi @Determined checking in. It's been a few months. Not sure how the days blend in together. I'm so tired with worry still. No more attempts but lots of discussion from my daughter around wanting to end things. How on earth are you all managing? I'm going away tomorrow for 10 days. I think I'll be worried the whole time I'm away. Gotta get back to some mindfulness and meditation. I coped much better when I was doing that regularly. 

Thanks for listening.