Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

ah okay. Hope DBT goes well @Zoe7

[MDT]

God I feel crap...
Anyway. Probably good timing as I see my psych

[MDT]

So my psych was a good appointment. We spoke a lot about how there are two things social psychology tells us. First is the "healthy normal" which is something we believe society does that is healthy or good and ought to be aimed for. The second was the "dysfunctional normal" which is the opposite: something society aims for which isn't so good and could be damaging.
Depending on which we associate with can influence our self perception and for me the intimacy aspect of what I am dealing with in my mind comes down to this. How I view what society thinks and believes and then measuring up to that.

Thing is I had this happen before I started not to care about others. That was because I viewed society views on this stuff as dysfunctional normal. Somehow that changed a bit and I ended up seeing it as healthy normal.

So it's a perspective shift basically. We recalled the dates that I'd been on how things have changed since high school where a lot of this was negatively influencing me.

As it stands now I don't care too much bout what others are saying or thinking. I gotta focus on my own area.

We didn't touch on career stuff but that's for next time. One thing or several things I took out of the session was patience, limiting use of social dating apps etc, not listening to stuff that might make me question myself and also reading a bit more into psychological literature.

Overall a good session that shifted my perspective again. So this arvo I played pc and now I'm going to read. Gotta take mum up to the auto shop.

I will look for new work once I'm done in my current electorate role. I won't be able to focus otherwise and I'll get overwhelmed with it all.

Hope your arvos are good

@outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Appleblossom @BryanaCamp @Faith-and-Hope @eudemonism

[MDT]

@BlueBay

[Zoe7]

It sounds like a good session and some really great things you touched on today @MDT Patience is something I know we have talked about quite a lot and paing yourself so you don't get too wound up in that what ifs or maybes but living within the moment and doing what you need to do to balance out your life. All that other stuff will come - especially the relationship and intimacy aspects of your life - again there is no rush and what you think society regards as 'healthy' is not your reality - and is not many people's experiences either. Some things can't be rushed and no matter how many dates or apps you have it is not an area that you should pressure yourself into. I know I have said it before but the right time (and person) will come along and that will make it so much more special for you - again buddy ...patience. Not everything in life has to be done on a timeline or by a certain age - age is just a number after all. We all know here what a wonderful young man you are and some very lucky girl will get to know you and see that in you also - and that will be one lucky girl 

[MDT]

Thanks @Zoe7
As always your words are encouraging 🙂

[BryanaCamp]

hi @MDT well done on your psych session, it's great to achieve a perspective shift and to leave with useful strategies. Your psychologist sounds really nice.

hi @Zoe7 hope your wednesday wasn't too hectic & DBT was helpful, hope you got or get a little bit of down-time.

hi @TAB how are you travelling, how's work?

hi @eudemonism hope you've been kind to yourself today.

My volunteering went well today, no upsets which is nice. I got another rejection email today for a job I applied for. Not great. I need to remain positive for the evening as I need to call my brother os tonight & be supportive.

btw @MDT I didn't have my first, comitted relationship until my thirties and when that happened it was fine & natural, I needn't have fretted years before worrying about being single.

[MDT]

IT is what it is @BryanaCamp in regards to the job reply. I guess I'm learning this lesson too atm.

Take it one step at a time with that. It's also good to hear you want to contact your brother by being in a good frame of mind. Good on you 🙂

[Zoe7]

DBT seemed to go pretty quickly today but I had an hour in between that and my pdoc ...so what does a Zoe do with that much time on her hands you may ask - well I go to Bunnings lol - bought a little cactus to replace one I sadly lost - methinks from overwatering 

It is a bugger that you had another job knock back but good that there were no further incidents at your volunteering gig @BryanaCamp Goodluck with the call to your bro - hope he is doing okay.

@MDT easy to encourage and support you buddy - just wish we could fix everything to make life feel more okay for each other.

[MDT]

Yeh true @Zoe7
But at least we have this forum 🙂