Lived Experience Forum

[Charlie1]

I'm never alone, yet I isolate myself. School is hard enough as it is without him following me around. I can't make sense of my surroundings, thoughts or feelings. All I can do is run away from him and cry in the shower becuase I can't remember who I am, where I am and how I got here. He told me that all my friends were bad for me- and I beleived him. Constant fear has trumped out all my other feelings, I want to feel. I'm young and I want to have fun and care about my friends. But more specifically, I want to feel bad about hurting them. Phsically and emotionally; it was brought to my attention that being fullfilled by planting pins in their chairs isn't 'normal'. They all tell me I'm so cute, sweet, innocent and kind, and well their right, I guess... I was that girl. But I can't find her anymore. I want to be normal, I want my fears to be normal. Instead, my biggest fear is that the voices will come back. That he'll figure out how to touch me.  

[supernova]

Hi @Charlie1,

Welcome to the Forums!

I’m not quite sure I understand your post, but I’d like to know more about what’s going on for you. Is the man you speak of a voice that you hear? If so, it sounds like you’ve been quite tormented for a while by this presence.

I’m also wondering whether you have spoken to a doctor or a mental health professional about how they might be able to help you with this? It sounds like you could use some support at the moment.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.

All the best,
supernova.