Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

I found this article interesting.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210601-grit-the-dark-side-of-deciding-to-tough-it-out 

especially

The concept [of grit] fails to take into account starting points, specifically for people from low-income backgrounds – Moizza B Sarwar

Resilience can also be similarly problematic as a buzzword.  Psychological health is more complex than any one word.

What do you think?

[chibam]

@Appleblossom  Very much agree. I've become very frustrated with the modern persistant usage of "resiliance". It's not an element we should be focussing on right now; not least of all because there is no currant shortage of it in our society.

The fact of the matter is that too much of life is not worth it. There is a major cost-reward shortfall. You don't get out of it what you put in to it, and so you are worse off for the effort. Under such circumstances, you can't fault people for bailing out early, or refusing to persist, because they are very sensibly doing what's in their own best interests. They don't have a resiliance shortage. Being resiliant in the circumstances presented to them would simply not make sense.

Why does the world insist on faulting them for "not being resiliant"? Why do all the "experts" suddenly seem so dead-set on pushing miserable people to "be resiliant"? IME, it just leaves people open to the scams that will burn them out, milk them dry and leave them with no faith left in life or the human race. How is that a sensible strategy for increasing happiness and reducing suicide statistics?

I stuck it out in a couple of bad, exploitive situations that were, unbeknownst to me, engineered in such a way that they were never capable of delivering me my happy ending. I did so, gullibly believing the hype that if you just persist, you'll get a life that's worth prolonging. I was so wrong. There was never any reward coming for all my time, effort, hunger and "resiliance". I was being scammed, exploited. The people running the situation knew what they were doing.

We, as a society, shouldn't be bullying people into quietly enduring situations that will ultimately not deliver them just rewards. We should be engineering situations that are designed to satisfy their needs, and to only impose fair obligations upon them in return for the rewards they will recieve.

The world needs to appreciate that, for the suicidal population, the relevant question is not: "Am I able to endure it?", but rather: "Is it worth it?"

[frog]

Very good article @Appleblossom 

"the cult following for grit at a time of worsening global income inequalities isn’t a coincidence: “It is a way of trying to drag attention back to the individual rather than the larger economic and social structure the individual is embedded in.” 

I have a parallel situation at work. After a terrible, mismanaged restructure that has put enormous pressure on the people at the bottom, 'resillience' is actually code for dont speak up/dont complain. And if you do dare say it's been tough the attitude is just suck it up.

it's very demoralising

[Appleblossom]

@chibam 

When there is all this talk about how much help there is out there, I can get upset as some of the help is not helping those it is intended for.  More, the so called "givers" may entertain inflated self esteem and salaries.  

You have had a hard slog with services.

@frog 

Sorry you are having to manage all that.  It would wear you down. Yes, the social realities of the psychosocial part of the equations in life .... are real and varied and need addressing.  Preaching exceptionalism is often a problem and created blame cultures and lack of compassion.

I quite liked the idea of pivoting ... there are times when that is the wise thing to do ....such as the fellow doing better after his return, and getting over a sense of failure ....